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Tuesday, November 30, 2010
It's freaking complicated.


if you're gonna leave something behind forever,
wont you think twice?
i mean, wont you think back about how you'll miss the thing that you left behind?
wont you feel regret about it?

it's only a matter of time that im going to leave "something" behind forever.
to move on with my freaking life.
the problem is, im thinking about the future.
about how regret i will be in the future.

im thinking about this over and over again because the time is coming soon.
will i regret, or will i not?
in the end, who will cry and who will laugh?

this is the path that i choose.
im moving on.

i dont know whether this is right or not.
but everytime i think of it, my heart thubs.
like thousands of arrows are breaking my heart into zillion pieces.



sometimes, i just want to run away from all of these.
i wished i could disappear and make people forget ALL about me.
i want to DIG a big and deep hole.
and when the time comes, i'll just jump into the hole and yes, im in peace.

but this is the REALITY.
i cannot RUN from reality.
please wake me up and make me realise that this is not a DREAM.
this is a reality.

ONCE you've made the decision,
there's no turning back anymore.
if you've done bad things,
you cant fix them anymore.

i know maybe you dont know what am i talking about right now.
you might not understand.
it's because i wont let you understand.












please wake me up from this awful bad dream....








i need the rain right now.

i smell your scent, again.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



I LOVE QUESTIONS! :D

i found this thing somewhere from Facebook.
anyway, since im bored, im going to answer them all :D

just in case you didnt read the title above, lemme tell you something.
I LOVE QUESTIONS!

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

- nope.

2. Who was the last person you went out with to eat?

- Umaga xD.

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?

- Stout. Trust me. That's the last one.

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips?

- can i choose both?
because if a person has beautiful eyes, but that person has black lips, then it's not attractive anymore.

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law?

- fine arts.

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?

- gahahaha. NOPE. xD

7. Is your bedroom window open?

- when i study, yes. when i sleep, no. it's creepy.

8. What is in store for your future?

- i dont know. never think of it.

9. Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you?

- yes. =,="

10. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?

- i want to, but i cant.

11. How are you feeling?

- right now? ermm.. BLANK :D

12. How many peircing do you have?

- Both of my earlobes. Long time ago i got one on my tongue but there's this "person" who told me to close the piercing. bla bla bla.

13. When was the last time you purchased something?

- yesterday.

14. Where is the last place you drove to?

- shop.

15. Is there someone you want to fight?

- yeah. Counter Strike's players.

16. Do you envy anyone?

- Michelle Phan. Because she's beautiful & gorgeous.

17. What brand of digital camera do you own?

- Olympus.

18. What was the last thing you ate?

- Amplang. :DDDD my eldest sister brought it from Tawau.

19. Whats your favorite thing in your bedroom?

- ME. hahaha joking. ermm. my Teddy Bear.

20. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?

- it's yesterday! :D i watched RED the movie. i've told you before, right?

21. Are you a quitter?

- nope.

22. Name one of the saddest days of your life?

- 16th November 2010.

23. Can you speak another language?

- English, Malay, Dusun, Japanese, a lil bit Chinese.

24. How about you put your legs behind your head?

- are you trying to kill me?

25. Miss someone?

- HELL YEAH! :D my bestfriends! ♥

26. Nickname?

- Feo, Piu[Umaga used to call me that], Yut[i dont even know how this exist], Gupiu[my aunts&uncles used to call me that], Foe[only dumbass people will call me that] & Fiyo[my bestfriends always call me that when we're texting]


27. Describe what you are wearing, in detail?

- A white half-stringed shirt. [Umaga bising2 about that. She said i looked like a prostitute. It's style laa]. And short pants.

28. What do you think about people who party 24/7?

- NO LIFE.

30. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

- im super uncomfortable talking about it with strangers. but im okay to talk about it with my bestfriends.

31. Do you play any sports?

- Nope :(

32. What was the last CD you purchased?

- Twilight[Eclipse]

33. What are two bands or singers that you will always love?

- David Choi & HeySayJump.

34. Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks?

- NOPE.

35. What all have you had to drink today?

- a cup of milo.

36. Where is your favorite place to get coffee?

- kitchen.

37. Have you ever been offered a job?

- yeas. by umaga. the job is doing housechores.

38. Do you believe in karma?

- nope.

39. When was the last time you highlighted your hair?

- NEVER.

40. Whats the last song you sang out loud?

- She sounds to me! She sounds like sex on the radio! She put sex on the radio! Sex on the radio! [Good Charlotte - Sex On The Radio]



0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



dont judge a movie by its title.

it's 1.20AM and i havent sleep yet.
im watching the movie "RED"!
haha. dont judge a movie by its title.
the "RED" in that movie means "Retired Extremely Dangerous".
i give SUPER THUMBS UP for that movie :D

anyway, what am i going to talk about tonight?


[What's on your mind?]

what's on my mind?
since it's midnight, im going to talk about my midnight dreams.
my wish to do during midnight.



in a middle of midnight, i want to go to a large clean grassy field.
and then i'll sit under a big tree at there, i'll gaze at the stars with my partner.
we'll drink Cokes, not alcohol.
after that, i'll start to talk about myself all midnight long.
about what i wanna be when i grow up.
about my interests, the things that i love, & the things that i hate.

we will saw a shooting star and we'll make a wish for eternal love.

wakakkakaak. aiseh. tai.

the night breeze will come and makes me shivers.
we'll start to understand about each other.
then, together of us will watch the sunrise.

i think i've talked about this before.
haha. at least, i got a midnight wish.

change the subject, as i promised you, i'll screenshot those who irritates me without covering their names & pictures.
why? because they irritates me, obviously.





i dont get his POINT.
=,=" haiyaaaa.
Umaga bising2 suda told me to go to sleep.
she's a freaking freak.

it's my life la when i want to sleep.

2.26AM.
Goodbye reality, Hello fairytales.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Sunday, November 28, 2010
What's wrong? And a lesson learned.


i dont know.
something creepy inside me just begin to expand.
like i should be worrying about something right now.
but the harsh fact is, i dont know what's wrong.

what's wrong with me?

i went to pray just now at 2PM and i felt calm.
im not a saint & im not a sinner.

something's deep inside makes me feel worry.
just what is it? tell me.

anyway, i played with a friend of mine just now.
i was just PLAYING with him & i dont know that he'll take it very seriously.
=,= oh gosh.
i learned a lesson to never play with him anymore.
i dont like the kind of person who's too serious.



Goodbye, reality. Hello, fairytales.

i want to dream that im in the middle of the road alone in the midnight.
the moon is blooming and red+orange in colour.
i have the power that nobody else have.
i can feel it , the power is flowing through my veins.
this is it, this is the moment, i fly like a wind.
too fast, too powerful, too danger.
im thirst for blood.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Saturday, November 27, 2010
my wonderful dream last night! :D

forget about those NEGATIVE things!
lets toss away them all!

now let's talk about my WONDERFUL dream last night.
:D :D

the spell really works!
weheeeee!

it's so freaking wonderful.
at first i thought it was real,
but when i woke up, i realised that it was just a dream.
:(
i wished it was REAL.
i wished it's happening right now.

anyway, dreams are just dreams.
they're made up by my brain.




LOL!
a minute ago, i posted my status on Facebook.
and LOL! three people liked my status less than 1 minute.


[click to enlarge]

yaaa i know la im sakai.. :D hahaha~
i gained my confidence to be cruel :)

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Friday, November 26, 2010
I miss my old moments. :'(


it's been a very freaking long time for me to online my Yahoo! Messenger.
i still remember about years before,
i always onlined my Yahoo! Messenger.

i miss those moments so damn badly! :'(
i miss the old freaking me.


[the old me always SPAM things like above.]

awwww :'(
i really miss my YM friends.
which we all used to be in a Conference before.
all of us~
using mic~
webcams~
singing~
laughing~
teasing~

why it's all gone now?!

anyway, tonight i've been spending the rest of my night chatting with my bestfriend, Anis!
:D haha. it's very fun.
you can sing, you can gossips, you can insult, you can play & you can smile the whole freaking night!
you should try it.


[dulu i always used that audibles "You suck more than I do."]

the best damn things that i've always liked on YM are Doodle and Pool.
since im good in playing Pool.
haha!

to change the subject, this life is unfair, so play it unfair!
if you play it unfair, you'll gain more happiness.
Anis teached me that! and thankss to Anis, i agree with it 100%.

im going to play unfair in this freaking cruel world.
that's why i said, you WONT get anything from me.
you'll only get hurt.

okeh laaa.
im fatigue suda ni..
it's time to cast my spell to dream something wonderful :D


It's time to sleep. Goodbye reality, Hello fairytales.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



How's my blog been doing? When i'll become a famous blogger?

as time goes by,
i dont think that people are reading my blog.
why?
look at the picture below.


[click to enlarge the image]

see that?
the total uniques for this week is 224 only.
you dont know the meaning of "uniques" ?
the category "uniques" only count one click per person.
which means, it doesnt count clicks that had been made by the same person.
so, 224 people[each with one click] views my blog.

meanwhile for the category "views",
it count every click no matter if it's the same person.

you get it?
if you dont, read above again & again :P

i really wonder when i'll become a famous blogger.
i want to become a famous blogger just like Xiaxue.
i guess it's just a dream that'll never come true.

nevermind lah!
i'll just be a "kampungan" blogger lah.

im so jealous that other blogger's followers already achieved 100++
while my followers are 16 only!


[click to enlarge the image. telling you this, just in case you're "kampungan"]



this is last month's visits which is from 26th Oct to 21st Nov.
this is quite good la because the unique views are 635.

but my followers...
arght! =,=
i'll try to be grateful with it.

let's calm our mind with David Choi's song.



listen & understand the lyrics.
you might fall in love with this song.

once again, i love David Choi.
no, it's not the kind of "love" for your partner.
it's the kind of "love" that's the same zip code as "admire".


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Thursday, November 25, 2010
my dream last night~ haha

im going to "OMGEEE" about my dream last night!
hahahaha~ la la la not going to tell you.
*mischievous smile*

i had a good sleep last night!
i guess it's because i posted a spell on Facebook before i sleep last night.
"It's time to sleep. Goodbye reality, Hello fairytales."

OMGEE! no wonder im in a fairytale last night.
i know this is ridiculous, but im going to try it anyway since it's FUN & it'll become one of my daily routines.



being in a fairytale is like reading a fairytale's book.
the difference is about how you manage to imagine about something.


to mention you, i stopped playing guitar.
but dont worry, i'll record a song that i made by myself for the last day that i played guitar.
you might ask , "But why?"
well, it's because i have BAD memories with guitar.

[16th November 2010]
so goodbye guitar. =,= i hate you little jerk.

oh, and one more thing,
i hate it when UNKNOWN people a.k.a STRANGERS suddenly chatted me on Facebook.
it's quite irritating & i hate irritating things.
the first thing that they'll ask is "Hye boleh berkenalan?"
and i was going to type "F*ck off",

but since im a kind person, in the end i didnt type something like that.
instead, the only thing i do is ignore them.

but after they started to do something more irritating,
for example, SPAMMING and saying, "Sombong nyer~"
i'll quickly remove them from my friendlist.

that is not cruel.
that is called doing something bad for our own SAFETY.

next time, if a stranger do that to me again,

i'll quickly ScreenShot and upload it here!
no mercy.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Wednesday, November 24, 2010
suddenly, i miss my bestfriends.

it's nearly midnight and suddenly i miss my bestfriends so damn badly!
:'(
[p/s : we're not LESBOs.]

i miss sharing my problems & stories with Anne.
i miss "mengumpat" & "mengacau" people with Vian.
i miss playing the lift with Anis.
i miss listening to Dora's silly jokes.
i miss bullying Lanie.
i miss pulling Shima's "tudung".
[just joking. im kind :D]
i miss Peggy's ulat bulu on her eyelashes.

i miss laughing with them.
ARGHT!
this feeling is so sudden-attack.

hey! i got an idea.
why dont we make a plan to go somewhere together?
wait.... i saw something interesting.


[CLICK on the picture above!]

so what do you guys say? :D


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



something is wrong with me.

what the freaking hell is wrong with me?!

i tried to sleep, but i cant.
i tried to eat, but i wont.
i tried to smile, but i cant.

i just want to smash my brain into little pieces.
so that i wont think about the past.

HAIYA. unexpectedly, 16th November is the MOST SUXX DAY i've ever experienced in my freaking whole life.
=,=" and the worst part is, i cant do anything about it.
my brain keeps on repeating that day like a rolling film everytime i tried to sleep.
my brain is a slut, indeed.

so what am i going to do now?!
what should i do to forget all the embarassing things?!
haiyaaaaa~ *sigh*

i guess i cant do anyting.
arghtttt!!

something is wrong with me.
something is not right with me.

i want to kill my BRAIN!


*terjun dari katil*


ohoooo~ i got the answer now.
i should make myself FATTER.
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT.


2 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



We dont care if you're single or lonely or alone!

guys~ i just came back from the library.
so i Logged In to my Facebook account.
and guess what's the first thing that i saw?


[ "~LoNeLy~aLoNe~siNgLe~"]

isnt that quite irritating?
because i've seen lots of post like that.
TONS OF SIMILAR POST JUST LIKE THE POST ABOVE.
and im super irritated.

have we ever asked whether u're single or not?
if you're alone&lonely, NOBODY even care.

i know it's harsh for me to say this.
but it's a FACT.
you just need to accept the fact that you're going to be a loner forever.

so stop posting something like that!
it may ruin other people's happy day.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



after a hurricane, there comes a rainbow.

it's raining ~ raining~
oooh baby it's raining ~ raining.
[Rihanna - Umbrella]

lol. it's 8.21AM and it's raining! :D

last night i pushed the play button , then suddenly Taylor Swift's song was playing.
i felt a little creepy since i've heard the story that Taylor Swift is a satanic worshipper.
so i quickly deleted all of her songs from my playlist.
[Lady Gaga too. beware of her.]

why sleeping is so tiring me?

arght~ anyway, i want to talk about Katy Perry's new song, Firework.
why? because just now i woke up while listening to this song.
[my sister yang pasang ini lagu tadi pagi.]

you can skip reading below if it gets boring :)

this song, i tell you la.
it's SUPER DUPER WONDERFUL.
i LOVE this song.

i dunno how many times i've posted this song on Facebook.
yang penting, over 2 times already.


[I LOVE HER PURPLE HAIR]

Katy Perry begins to be more mature.
that's why this song is so meaningful.

for me, this song carries the meaning of ENCOURAGING YOURSELF.
watch its Official Video.



as you can see, there's a FAT girl who wanted to swim in that pool.
but she had no confidence, because she's FAT.
she's afraid that all of the people at the pool will mock her.
but in the end, she lighten up the courage a.k.a firework inside her,
and she jumped into the pool.
POOM~ firework~



next, you can see a bald girl watching the television.
notice the television, there's a girl with beautiful long hair.
it's obvious that the bald girl wants a beautiful long hair too.
the bald girl wants to go out, but that bald girl was ashamed of herself.
why? because she's bald.



and then she saw a woman giving a birth.
she saw the sparks, the courage a.k.a firework inside that woman.
she also, wanted to ignite the firework inside her, so she walked out from the hospital,
and POOM~ courage & firework built up inside her :D

after that, the part that i like the most is, a GAYBOY.
HAHA.



that gayboy was in a pub, and he saw the person that he admire, which is a boy too.
he stared at that boy, he forced himself to try, to be original,
so he get near to that boy, he kissed that boy,


and POOM~ firework~

see? so meaningful.
i wanted to talk more about this.
but i want YOU, to watch that Official Video and figure out YOURSELF about the meaning of each situation.


[haha. i love her purple hair]

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Crunchyroll SUCKS!

today i want to rant about Crunchyroll.
long time ago, it's my number one favourite website.
why? because i can watch Movies&Dramas&Animes at there.
after some time, it became more popular.
and more irritating.

when i searched a J-Drama, "Seigi no Mikata"
guess what?


[click to enlarge. it says "There are no videos for this Series. This page is only for discussion and informational purposes."]

you know how shit is that?
even though during the year 2008, i still can watch this drama on Crunchyhroll!

when you're expecting MORE but you in the end what you got is the WORST.
im so freaking irritated right now.

so if that page is only for discussion&informational purposes, then please just shut down the freaking page.
stop making people hope for NOTHING.

so i browsed for another drama.


["We only display titles that are available in your region."]

so please explain me why.
why last year i still can browse more dramas in the same region?!
why this year cannot?
explain me.

so i browsed ALL. hoping that i'll find something.



but all i found is MOTORCARS & ETC ETC ETC!
what a slut!!

you think motorcars are dramas?!


[click to enlarge. "Your #1 drama source on the web." ?! go to hell]

you called yourself #1 drama source on the web?!
oh gosh im so damn irritated with Crunchyroll.

if you only want to show motorcars or racing cars or etc etc etc, go "freak" yourself la.
slut.
for you, Crunchyroll's founder, please just shut down your USELESS website.

YouTube is way 100% more better than you!
support YouTube!




0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Monday, November 22, 2010

i decided not to.
siou kio my dear friend~
:)

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Devil VS Angel.

ahhh it's so freaking cold this morning.
or am i the one who's having a fever?

so as usual, i log in my Facebook account, searching for something interesting.
and only found one,
my bestfriend is in a relationship.
oleh kerana sa pnyibuk, then i went to search for "that" guy,
and i found it~ haha.
im a good spy.
:P

and then, life is boring as usual.
i planned to watch Bokura Ga Ita,
even though i already watched it for more than 3 times already,
even though i already knew the ending of that story,
but still, it always make me cry. =,="

snapped out of it! im not emotional!

tried to play Counter Strike.
and all of the server that i tried to get in is FULL.
always full . =,= haiyaaa.

so what am i going to do now?

that day, my friend asked me to "kasi kawan dia" go to work.
i mean, she asked me to go to work together with her.
so i said i need some time to think about it first.
she replied, "Okay just tell me ur decision later".

sooo guys, should i go or not?

Advantages [Angel Side] :
1. Bole jadi kurus.
2. Meet new friends.
3. Gain experiences.
4. Spend my freaking spare time.
5. Help "kasi kawan" the friend of mine.
6. Spend less time at home.
7. Learn to be optimistic.
8. Experience that you get can help you to be a better person.


Disadvantages [Devil Side] :
1. Oily face.
2. No more time to spend on my blog.
3. It's a goodbye to CS.
4. No more the dream to go back to village.
5. Ketinggalan zaman because didnt know anything that happens on FB.
7. Penat. Super penat.
8. No more spare time to do some stupid projects.
9. Urang tingu2.
10. T'jumpa urg yg dikenali.
11. Berasa malu.
12. Jadi kalau tida mau malu, bgs tepayah.

Angel : Just go la! Move your butts!
Devil : No need la. You said before that spending time infront of computer is HEAVEN.
Angel : That's not called heaven. That's called retarded.
Devil : Whatever. Ko mau malu ka?
Angel : No, you're not gonna be ashamed, dear Feo. It's EXPERIENCE!
Devil : Experience your ass la. Experience to be in shame.
Angel : Then are you gonna spend the rest of your holiday here? Be OPTIMISTIC.
Devil : Then are you gonna spend the rest of your holiday working?
Angel : At least Feo will get experiences. She may get more mature.
Devil : Mature your ass.


see?
whenever im thinking, the conversation between Devil & Angel will pop-up in my mind.
no it's not a kind of imaginary friends or etc .
it's kind of thinking realistically.

so should i go or not?
i should think first.



0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Sunday, November 21, 2010
a very very good news for me :D

there's nothing more wonderful than drinking a cup of hot chocolate when it's raining.
that's what im doing right now.

anyway, im here to tell you a VERY GOOD NEWS! *jeng jeng jeng jeng*
guess what?!
THE SCAR ON MY FACE HAS ALREADY GONE!
:D

the long scar was located under my right eye.
and now, LOOK!
it's GONE! :D :D :D


[urght! ya bla bla bla im getting fat =,=]

yayyyyyy~
a big success today~
no more "nerenget" !

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



"Korean-Wanna-Be" ?


straight to the point, today i want to give a speech about "Korean-Wanna-Be".
"Korean-Wanna-Be" means someone who wants to be Korean so badly even though the fact is they're not Korean.
they tried so hard to be Korean, but in the end, they're annoying & irritating.
yes, im irritated with "Korean-Wanna-Be"

firstly, what they do is to change their names to Korean & start behaving like Korean.
i mean, the way they talk & the way they act.

arght~ i would like to post a picture of "Korean-Wanna-Be" ,
but im afraid that it'll be a "Copyright Issue".

anyway, the way they capture their pictures are UNORIGINAL.
they will make a FAKE-CUTEY face,
& they will enlargen their eyes, after that, they'll expand their cheeks.
i mean, something like blowing their cheeks so they'll look chubby.

[decided to put "Korean-Wanna-Be" pictures here. in the end, i changed my mind]

btw, i dont blame the "Korean-Wanna-Be" for being ugly.
i blame them for being UNORIGINAL.
and in malay, they said "Lupa Daratan".

what irritates me the most is, when some of them said "Annyeong!" to me with their fake-cutey face.
i was like, "Oh gosh! what an ugly human beings".

im not saying that their faces are ugly.
im saying that the way they behave is ugly.

i admit la that im "ganas" & etc etc etc.
but at least i dont act like "Korean-Wanna-Be" & im NOT fake.
i admit also that sometimes i joined my lil bro watching Ultraman.

Ultraman Nexus, Ultraman Mebius, Ultraman Dyna[my fav], Ultraman Tiga, Ultraman Gaia, Ultraman, Ultraseven, Ultra Q, Ultraman Ace, Ultraman Taro, Ultraman Leo, Ultraman Cosmos, Ultraman Max & etc etc.

back to the topic, what i really wanna say is, please be original.
aren't you comfortable with the original you?
imagine if you need to control your face & behave like Korean all the time.
doesnt that makes you tired?

imagine if you're behaving ORIGINALLY.
you dont need to control your face & you dont need to behave like Korean.
you can scream loudly with as much as you want.
you can run around, you can play around, you can watch Ultraman.
doesnt that makes your life more beautiful?

so let's all stop with the crap of "Korean-Wanna-Be".
let's make the "Korean-Wanna-Be" gone!
admit it please that they're SO DAMN irritating. =,=

with the smiley face and gosh.
wtfhttttad.
[What The Freaking Hell They Think That They Are Doing]


so for the people who think that they got the Korean-Wanna-Be's symptoms,
tell me & i can give you some advice.
[translation : i can give you a long speech]

i want to talk more about this matter,
but the Umaga bising2 suda.
so goodbye~ 'till next time~


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Saturday, November 20, 2010
im not vulnerable.


after all, i dont know why im still kind.
i still care about your SPM, i still care about your future.
[even though it's not mine]
i even care about how will you do if you fail your SPM.



see? im not bad.
i still have this guilty feeling that every human have.
even though you've put me into lots of trouble, i still care.

arght~ yeah go on and call me stupid.

i'll just have to endure things for one month..
i'll just have to be patient.

i just want to let you know that im fragile too.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



im still breathing


yeah you managed to force me before.
the truth is, you always force me.
and now im defending myself.

im not a toy.
so stop telling me what should i say & what should i do.
stop asking me the same damn thing over & over again.
this is all SHIT.

you're not a girl.
so why crying like a baby girl?

man, i cant stand this.
im getting tired of this.

tell your freaking friends to mind their own business.
stop talking & telling shit about me with your friends because of what i did to you.

the real thing is, im the victim here.
and you act like you're the victim.
everyone put the blame on me.

when you're sad & when you said you want to suicide, EVERYBODY blames me.
some says, "Jahat oo si Feo... kenapa dia buat si anu begitu?!"
everybody put the "face" at me.

STFU.
your friends dont know what i've been through all these two years.
your friends dont know anything about what you had done to me, so just tell them to stfu.

dont make me list all of your mistakes.
i think can list them all on 1001 papers.

I HAD ENOUGH TWO YEARS.

let's close our chapter, say one last prayer.




I AM DISGUSTED WITH YOU.



nevermind.
i'll wait after 1 month.
right now, all i need to do is to be patient.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



love me or hate me. either way im on your mind.


fuuuuuuhhh!
last night i slept at 3AM.
after i watched "Daybreakers", i continued watching "Baby&Me".
my new record for watching movies continuously.

wondering if today got Bible Study or not.
i still have love in God, i knew it.

to change the subject, i want to get the hell out from this town.
i want to go to my village, a peaceful place.
[which is my wish since August]
i like to babysit my little cousins.
why? because it felt like im doing a charity with my own family.
to mention you, i got LOTS of little cute cousins.

i want to travel away!



arght! but i have a problem.
no one's gonna send me there.
not because nobody wants to send me.
but it's because i dont want to ask my dad to send me.

remember about our big fight?
after that day, he tried talking to me.
but i didnt look at him & i didnt talk to him.
if he go to the kitchen, i'll go to the living room.
if he go to the living room, i'll go to my bedroom.
[that's a divine punishment untill im satisfied]

oh no! he said they're going to the village today.
=,=
he's trying to make me talk with him.

nevermind la!
i'll use bicycle only.

pfffftt. just kidding.
your ass la if you think im going to ride a bicycle.
actually, i dunno how to ride a bicycle.
yeah im so damn kampungan.

the greatest thing is, that unvirgin girl is going to my cousin's house!
yeah! the satanic girl is gone!
i hate to think the fact that she's coming back later.
=,= slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut slut.
*repeating that word in my mind over and over again*

if i got 3 wishes, one of my wish is to make her disappear into thin air.
please make it come true!

anyway, dont you think that im having a revenge on her.
im not full of hatred.

im kind. im an angel.
hahahahahha. your ass la.

ooookay~ since im going to be a good girl,
let's see which words i can use to curse.



Oh shit!
What a slut!
Damn it!
Oh man!
What the F***!
[to mention you, i never use this word before. NEVER]
What the hell!
Sial!
Silaka!
Kunajar!
Kurang asam!
Pantat la ko!
Budu!
Palui!

i bold the words that i can use.
hmmmmmm.
*thinking*


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Friday, November 19, 2010
NeverShoutNever - Christofer Drew Ingle

Christofer Drew Ingle.

i just cant stop from admiring this guy.
OMGEEEE.

he got his own cute style,
and i LOVE almost all of his songs.

&the most wonderful thing is,
he plays guitar.


try watching this,
im sure you might fall for him too.


OMGEEEEE. okay im melting.
he got his own style & im loving it.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Rocketeer ♥


i love to think.

because after i think, i find that i learned something.
so today, let's think about last night.



last night, im such an .... emo girl?
and it gets scary when im on my emo mode.
i almost deleted this beloved blog of mine.
fortunately, i saved this blog & i restore it~
dont ask me how~ la la la~

this blog is a part of my life.
everything that happens to me, i'll write it here.
this blog is my journey.
i've been with this blog for 2 years & a half already.

as im sitting here, thinking about this stuff.
i forgot the reason why i breathe.
[HAHAHA. okay that's out of topic. =,="]

i also dont know when i'll be "lemah lembut"
it's not my type bha..
i mean, aper nie bro!! tak rock la ginie!!
lemah lembut tak rock la!!

definitely not my type.
i love to rock the rockest thing ever.
but if i be a super "lemah lembut" girl, then it's the end of the world.
you cant see me curse & you cant see me fix any ruined situation anymore.
[as if that matters to you]

the past is the past, the only option that you can take is to forget the past & move on your freaking live.
if you want a good past, then do good with the present.
because the present will be your past.

last night i learned that whenever i want to be sad, i'll listen to David Choi's songs.
& whenever im in my emo mode, i'll watch Ryan Higa's videos.


anyway, listen to this wonderful song.
Far East Movement - Rocketeer



look at the intro. hot kissing scene. haha!
=,=" okay la i admit la that i need to vacuum my dirty mind.

anyway, since we're talking about video here,
let me show you this :

[i hope that Keningau got places like this. haishhh.]
anyway, i love its soundtrack,
Laza Morgan - This Girl

and also this wonderful mature song ;)


[i cant help myself. i keep on playing this song over & over again]


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Thursday, November 18, 2010
MY EMO MODE IS SCARY


i've said it from the beginning.
and i think what i've said is true.

you deserve a better person than me.
you can find a better LADY.
im not a lady, im not a girl, im not a woman.

so what am i?
im just a normal human being who have my own natural habits that are not suitable for you.

every girl have their own sweetness.
while i dont.
that means im not a girl.

every girl dont laugh & scream like a man.
but i did.
another proof that im not a girl.

listen.
i tried to be a girl.
but you know that i just cant.
because lots of things happen.
& i cant force myself to be a gentle girl, darling.
i cant.
so that means im not good enough for you.


[you dont need a girl like me by ur side]






*UPDATED*

HAHA. oh my gosh.
it's very scary when im on my "EMO MOOD".
trust me, it gets so scary.

=,=" i almost delete this blog of mine.
i am so stupid!

I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT IM FINE NOW AND IM READY TO ROCK OFF!
:D

please go on and read my blog.
I LOVE YOU! HAHAHA!
=,="



i gained my confidence back.
i'll learn to be a super gentle girl.
take it, or leave it.



[okay actually nigahiga also helps me to laugh]

FEEL FREE TO READ MY BLOG! :D

xoxoxoxoxo.
18th November 2010 : Totally In Love.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



:( bad night


i just think that i wanna cry.
since prom night, i wanna cry.
but tears wont fall down.
why?

because my heart keeps on pumping my blood.
[unreasonable]

just no one understands me.
that im badly embarassed.

i just want to sleep and let my brain calm down.
but the fact is, i cant sleep.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

it supposed to be 16th November 2010.
but, whatever. :D

18th November 2010


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



hey bitch, please disappear from my life.


i just want to ask you guys.
do you think that you can live in the same house with the person that you hate?
because i dont think i can.

i dont want to share the same atmosphere with that person.
it's just that i got this feeling that she is a total stranger.
i mean, she need to disappear from my freaking life.

i wont & cannot forget that she had made her old man choke me.
i know i shouldnt hate people. it's a bad thing.
but in this situation, i cannot force myself to like them.
[them = that girl & her old man]
im sure if you're in my position, you'll feel what i feel right now.

all i want now is not apologies.
i just want her to disappear into thin air.

oh i wish life is like a fairytale.
you got the wand, you know the spell,
all left is make a wish and it'll come true.

anyway, i hate it when strangers irritates me.
i mean, usually i'll be friendly with strangers when im on my friendly mood.
but when im in my irritated mood, it'll be completely different.


[desperate =,="]


[super desperate for friends]

it's damn okay if i know you,
but the truth is, i 100% dont know you.
i dont know where you came from, where is ur school & even ur real name.
you act like you know me & you forced me to remember who u are!
i think this is called "Chatting Harrasment"
LOL!

im not on my mood, sorry.
maybe next time.
[as if there's next time. i already blocked you. how cruel is that?]

haha.



by the way, i cant wait to go to the library and read books!
i used to be a bookworm before.
but after things get busy, i stopped being a bookworm and i get on with my reality life.

i've read ALL of Harry Potter & Twilight Novel.
the proof is, the some of the librarians & security guards at the library recognise me.

A Librarian : napa jarang suda ko pigi sini?
Me : heheh sa balik kampung~ [kunun]

[i dont know if they still remember me because it's been a very long time that i havent borrowed books from the library]

anyway, im going soon!


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-




i totally have no freaking life right now.
sitting infront of this computer screen, doing nothing but blogging.
been sitting here for 6 hours.

i got nothing to do, babe.
nothing~
my life is completely pointless right now.

school has ended.
what should i do?
i guess i'll just continue my project, "Happy Aliens".
hey, i copyrighted it, okay?

NO COPYCATS ARE ALLOWED HERE.


last night, i dreamed about something ... awkward..
it's just so awkward that i cant even tell you, lol.
okay, i broke my secret laaa.
i dreamed that..
WAH! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEATHER TODAY..
look at the shiny cloud!
la la la la ~ :D haha!



anyway, i tried to make a server but my friend cannot connect to it.
*sigh*


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Wednesday, November 17, 2010
it felt so wrong, it felt so right.


i dont know whether i should laugh or not.
today is the most awkward day ever.

awkward questions, awkward situations, awkward plans.

it's so damn funny.
but all i can do is smile, not laugh.

to change the topic, i dont think that the feeling to try something new is wrong.
we all should try something new!
just like wearing a dress.
when you're getting tired of the dress, you should try to wear a new dress!
see the point here?

so i dont think it's wrong.
sometimes, it's very good to be greedy.
it give benefits to us.
only sometimes.




[this is awkward, but i like it.]



0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



last night - 50% my teenage dream.

im so sorry that i drafted the previous post.
because i dont want to talk about it, i dont want to remember about it again.

and YES, that girl is biologically my older sister.
[and since i live in my life for 14 years, she's just a stupid stranger to me]

we need to look POSITIVE.
look every points of positive.
do not think anything that is NEGATIVE.

i had a great time with my bestfriends yesterday.




thanks to all of you who attend that party,
because of you, this party achieved 30% success.
LOL.

i know that the party was ruined.


[i was wearing that shirt too!]

10AM - 5PM
we went to the room and decorate it.







there are more pictures.
but i'll upload it at facebook, instead :D

for the people who are not satisfied with last night,
im here to apologize.
IM SO DAMN SO DAMN BADLY SORRY!


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



imsodamnfreakingsadidontknowwhattodoarghtghtgthgth


im so sorry that i drafted the previous post.

because i dont want to talk about it, i dont want to remember about it again.

and yes, that girl is my own older sister.

anyway, yesterday was a .... RUINED NIGHT!
let me tell you ONE by ONE.
everything doesnt go as i planned.

firstly, some of the people & the MC girl come at 8PM.
as you can see, we cannot go on the party without MC girl.
so i exchange her place for a while.
i sacrificed myself, i sacrificed my own time [which i could use to eat]

but anyway, she already apologize to me and i think it's ok now.

secondly, somebody sabotaged the PA System.
i mean all of the wire was sabotaged.
and when we play some songs, the sound will humming.

Me : How come this happen?! Tadi petang ok seja pun.
Man In Charge : I dont know. Somebody changed it. Not me.

and ARGHT! people were waiting.
and the situation in the room was a total MESS.

thirdly, there's this one particular person who got on my nerves.
he keeps on bringing total problems to me.
when everything doest go right with his way, he'll ruin the party.
if he went out, all of his friends will go out & the party was ruined.

so i got really really really mad that the situation in the room was.... NOT HAPPENING.
so i volunteer myself to sing "Justin Bieber - Baby"
and trust me, it's totally SUCKS.
i just force myself to do it though i dont want.
i sacrificed myself again.
[plus, my guitar tune was ruined! the tune is standard tuning, but they tuned it and it became ........... urght!]

next, there are lots of empty seats.

fifthly, there were some rumours spreading about our party.
about only 20 people will come to this party.
arght! ruiner!

but, what i like is, some of the people in there were very supporting.
thanks, guys :)
without you guys. the party will be "Super Duper Sucks"

and im very sad about my failureness.
i cant sleep last night thinking about that ruined party.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Monday, November 15, 2010
16th November 2010[tomorrow] is a very special day.

ooooh i hope things will go so well tomorrow.
i REALLY hope and please make it come true for me.

i cant wait! OMGEE!

anyway, today i hope i lose lots of fat.
it's nearly over 7PM and i still havent eaten yet.

girls, eating after 7PM will make you FAT.
trust me.
it's because you wont be active at night, you wont be sweating.
so fats will haunt you and it'll live inside your freaking stomach.

to change the subject, i want to talk about my mother's accident.

yesterday which is Sunday, my mother was driving to Keningau from Ranau.
at Tambunan, while she was driving, she saw something infront, and she "mengelak" from that fast thing.
and then, yeah, BAMMMM!!
her car was thrown into a big "parit".

you dont believe me?!
here's the pictures



teruk bha babe~
nasib baik tida malatup macam dalam itu movie James Bond.



alaaaa free show la ne~
people look-look the car
[haha broken english]



sedih :(
the car that i love.



basar ka the parit?
macam tida kan?



lots of people pass by..
dasar busybodies.



my mother is alright.
but the car is not alright :( .



sad~



the good bomba.

anyway, tadi sa jalan2 di kedai, then i saw something GROSS!
very gross but SATISFYING!!



you saw that? saw it?
zoom it in~ click on it~

yihaaa you got the answer.
it's COCKCROACHES.



they all come out at once from that longkang.
euhhhhhh~

but the most satisfying part is, lots of cockroaches die today :)

lots of weird things happen to me today.
especially when i saw an old woman mengurik tai hidung dia infront of me.
she was very bersungguh-sungguh mengurik tai hidung.

pengajaran : dont let any suspicious old women to touch you.

after that, i saw a lelaki penjual ikan washing & arranging his fishes in a pail next to a BIG TONG SAMPAH.
plus, that tong sampah is very bebau a.k.a smelly.
=,=""

pengajaran : dont dare to buy fishes from suspicious people.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-