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Sunday, July 31, 2011
not in a good mood because of this freaking swollen tonsils.

i am currently in a bad mood and depressed.
mostly because of this freaking swollen tonsils.

every one of us have tonsils inside our mouth.
only that my tonsils are swollen.
you've never got yours swollen?

[swollen tonsils]

if you keep on drinking cold drink while your tonsils are swollen,
you tonsils will get larger and larger until you cant even swallow any foods/drinks.

i am having tonsils right now and im suffering HEADACHE.
i dont want to sleep because it's hot so i stayed infront of this computer.
but they told me to do works and that's what making me BAD MOOD.

i cant even swallow my saliva and my despair increases as you bought ice creams and Cokes.
i just want to eat that ice cream and drink that motherfreaking cokes!

i'll just drink those cokes and get some sleep.
goodevening bastards.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Saturday, July 30, 2011
i cant even swallow my saliva!

today i went to Kelas Kecemerlangan again.
after that, me and my bestfriends went strolling around the town.

i drank a cold drink.
i forgot that i cannot drink any cold drinks since my tonsils are swollen.
and now they're getting bigger than usual.

i cant even speak clearly and eat nicely!
i cant even swallow my saliva!
curse you tonsils.

anyway, we went to the so-called new K-Box.
the best part was i screamed my lungs out and i can feel that my tonsils were boiling.

the bad part was, my face looked horribly TERRIBLE!
i was NERENGET, i was wearing school T-Shirt which has some chocolate stains on it, i was wearing fugly shoes, i was carrying my bag, my hair.... URGHT!

biarlah diri ku ini terdampar di tepi pantai


i hate watching happy couples.
whenever i saw them doing sweet things, i want to run to them and slap them on their eyeballs.
how dare they're being happy infront of a pathetic lonely person like me?

here's the thing.
there's this one cute pair of couple in my class.
everyday they'll bring foods that they cooked from home and they'll eat it together during recess.

i am freakingly jealous.

so yesterday's yesterday [Thursday], i asked Anis to bring foods so that we could share it together just like that cute couple.
on the next day, Anis didnt manage to bring foods because she woke up late.
i was a pathetic human being because i was the only one who brought foods.

so i ate alone.
forever alone.

oh and! they gave me a duty to draw a big 1MALAYSIA for our class.
and also the wordings.

i'll think of some ways to refuse doing it.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Friday, July 29, 2011

seriously, Friday is always being good to me!
you know the feelings when you're having the best day in your life
and you just wanna scream to the sky that you're going to have the best in your life.

i ate real good during recess,
the heat wasn't blazing through me so i did not sweat,
i learned weird but nice things from Achol,
mom picked me up right on time,
i had a good laugh with my beloved bestfriends,
i get back home and im eating chips with drinks right now.
[not Coke but Grape. since they refused to buy Cokes for me :(]

i checked my Facebook account and suddenly a terribly STUPID BOY messaged me.
he just ruined my perfect day.
how great is that.

[Click the picture to enlarge]

[there i was threatening him that i can track him using IP. HAHA]

oh yes ugly boy, you're messing with a wrong girl at the wrong time :)
seriously, how did your parents raised you up?
did they beat you up until you're mentally disorder?

so i posted on his wall, i tagged him the screenshots of his message, i posted my status and tag his name.
yet, i am still UNSATISFIED.

parents are the one who should be blamed!
if they raised their kids good enough, with a good education, good condition and no harsh words in daily life, their children wont turn into a complete RUBBISH just like this ugly boy!

teenagers like that are the one who RUINED this society!

i am sitting at home, STRUGGLING FOR THIS FREAKING PMR, while they're just sitting there, sending shitty messages to soft girls like me. [soft like me? HAHA]

i studied every single night just for my future.
i even sacrificed my time to read those boring Malay novels for my future.

okay stop. i almost cursed.

look just how you ruined my beloved friday.

dear ugly boy, i hope one day i'll meet you and i'll bring your ass infront of your parents and i'll talk to your parents about YOU.
about how SPOILED you are, how BASTARD and UGLY you are.
and if i were your parents, i would left you STARVED TO DEATH.

that's all from me for today.
sincerely, me, Feo the soft and little sweet girl. [hah. as if]

2 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, July 27, 2011
you're free to dream so dream impossible things!

im kind of depressed with my studies.
so i started drinking cokes again.

yesterday i studied from 6PM untill 10PM.
yet, im still feeling that it's not enough.

if i could, i would study all day long.
but if you're studying while you're fatigue, it's useless.
you wont understand what you're reading.

for Science, i still need to study two chapters left.
[i've already studied all chapters for Form 1 and Form 2! :D]
after that, i'll need to study Maths which will be kind of rush.
since it's been days we didnt study Maths.

our Excel will be on 8th August!
it's time to train myself for the upcoming PMR.
[Perosak Minda Remaja]

i know you're getting bored reading things about my studies.
changing the subject, im still dreaming to have my tour.

i want to produce albums and i want people to love it.
i want to be officially an artist.
it's impossible to come true but that's the use of dreaming.

you are FREE to dream anything!
so use your imagination to dream something impossible.
something extravagant.
something you know possible if you put all of your efforts in it.

i want my songs to be aired on each radio.
i want to have fans.
i dont want to be famous but i want to feel what it's like to be on stage and a huge crowd cheering for you.

i want to feel those feelings.
and when people Google my name, my face and songs will be showed.

my dream grows bigger day by day.
okay enough talking about this.

between western food and kampung food, i prefer kampung food more.
i think i've blogged about that before.

anyway, my eldest sister teached me another recipe for eggs.
it's simple and can be considered as delicious.

Firstly, put eggs and Tiram Sauce.

Secondly, put some "daun bawang" , salt and some pepper.

Next, stir it.

if you like, you could add some tomatoes and "bawang besar" or any other vegetables that you would like to add.
see? it's simple and i've never did this recipe before.
im pathetic.

we made "ala-ala masakan kampung" just now and my favourite is this :

[ulam. it's really healthy for a fat girl like me]

[sambal belacan]

if you've never tried kampung food before, you should get a freaking life.

i learned weird recipes from my eldest sister.
at first, memang mencurigakan resipi dia.

she even made a blog for her simple and irregular recipes.
here's her blog : http://www.christinegsimpledishes.blogspot.com

i've already told her to put some pictures in her blog supaya tida mencurigakan.
you should sometimes cook for your family and show them that you can feed them.

1 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, July 25, 2011
im stone-headed.

as you know, me and the three of my sisters went for a "girls hangout" yesterday.
[even though i should study instead of following them]

so we went to this one particular shop and we tried some weird hats.
i captured pictures of my sisters wearing those hats since those hats were seriously fugly.

suddenly, a worker in that shop told me that capturing pictures are not allowed at there.
what in the hell?
even hell allowed pictures.

i mean, what's the point of "No Capturing Pictures" ?
we're not going to violate the copyrights of those hats' designs anyway.
do you think that we would copy your fugly hat's design?
puh-lease biatch.

i would like to show you those pictures that i captured but my memory card is making some troubles.

shopping with my mom is indeed a very fun thing.
[well, at least for me it is fun]

*making a "bayi bermuka tua" face*

let's change this boring subject into a good one.
i started collecting things for my own collections!
im hoping to collect more and more and more of them!

*bending my body*

[i love these kind of stuffs!]

[i havent drank these cans of Coke.]

i planned to buy the small and the big bottle of Coke for this collection,
but they threw 'that look' on me since they told me to stop drinking Cokes.

furthermore, my tonsils are getting swollen.
i shouldn't get sick because i need to study hard in these two months!
[but that doesn't mean that i need to stop drinking Cokes]

see how stone-headed my head is?
blame it on my head. not me.

it's like an addiction.
then how to stop it?

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday was being good to me.

this post contains some unsuitable contents for under age. parental guidance is needed.

i should've blogged about this earlier but there's no internet access yesterday due to some wiring.
so, pardon me.

yesterday, which is Saturday, there's an extra class for the Form Three students.
and im included.

my mom said that she'll need to go to her school at 7AM for some particular activities and im lazy to tell you more about it.
for any sake, i would not go to school at 6.30AM++.
so she said i'll need to go to her school first and she'll send me at 7.45++, i agreed.

[the mist view from the school's balcony]

during i was in her school, her uncute students were mentally harassing me!
seriously, i am older than them and they should at least respect me by not disturbing me.

while i was messing with the things in the Pejabat Am,
lots of them stucked their face on the window and kept on staring at me.
i was like, "What the freaking hell is your problem?!"

[p/s : sorry for the low quality camera]

and then i found something interesting.

it's a book with calculator on the cover!
plus, the calculator was working very well!
[okay i was being very "sakai", but that is considered as "canggih"]

[i love playing with things]

soon, mom gave up with my busybody hands and sent me to school.
they always sent me outside so i'll need to walk to the school.
sucks to be me.

then i saw Vybriken and it's very unusual for him to greet me from a very far distance.
he even threw his biggest smile on me.
maybe it's because i wore the pinafore for the first time in this year.
[Vy, if you're reading this, just agree with me]

our BM class was combined with other class and we started the class at 8AM.
our English class was cancelled since our English teacher was sick.
that's the reason why we finished our extra class at 9.30AM.

me, Anis and Vian did the things that we planned.
[oh wait! i think we forgot to bring Goput along! O_O curse me]
i planned to pierce my lips but since it's hard to hide the piercing, i cancelled my desire.

we went to the shops and did things that girls will do.


me and Anis convinced Vian to try wearing some makeups.
i envy her because she doesn't need to wear mascara since her eyelashes are thick, long and beautiful.


and then we saw these inappropriate things for kids to see.
now you understand why did i put the ALERT! above.

[there are lots of pattern which made me wonder what's the difference.]

after a while, we apart with Vian.
and then me and Anis did the things that bestfriends will do.

we finished doing silly things and planned to go for an adventure but we have no idea where to.
so, we went to the library and we borrowed books!
i borrowed Robinson Crusoe, hoping that by reading it will help me to answer the English paper.

we were bored and we went to Taman Mahathir.
it's been such a long freaking time since we haven't went to there together!
im missing it already.

[the beloved swings where those uncute kids will appear out from nowhere and they'll grab the swings from us!]

[i wrote this long time ago and it's still here!]


[she was seriously dancing! nah jk.]

[this road is for dumbass people who would like to hurt their own feet. again, jk]

[those stones were killing my feet]

the weather was very nice and windy and PERFECT for reading books!
so, we did.

soon, we got bored and went back to the town,
mom didnt pick up my phone, neither my dad.
they were abandoning me!

i was angry, mad, devastated, abandoned, messy, desperate, exhausted,
and most of all, i was very NERENGET!

i was forced to wait at Anis's mom's office because i was desperate and i was very thankful since they were very kind to me.
and friendly too!
Anis, if you're reading this, THANK YOU! and I LOVE YOU!

after hours of waiting, finally my mom called me back and i went back home with a stressful face.

[i forgot to tell you that i bought that coke which inspires me to have a Coca Cola Collection!]

i drank too much cold drinks and i think my tonsils are getting swollen!
i've never been sick in this year so i might be sick this time.

they keep on telling me that i shouldn't drink Coke.

i went to the town again today with my sisters!
all of us unexpectedly wore white shirts.
and i didnt managed to wash my shoes.

i would like to blog about it but can i just blog about it later since i just get back home?
my backbone hurts and i feel like killing myself.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Thursday, July 21, 2011
i love rain.

during recess, i planned to buy two big ice cream.
but then Anis told me to wait at the class for Vian.
i waited, waited, waited and waited.

finally, Vian came and she brought a big container of ice cream for us to eat!
i was surprised and super duper happy!
she said she felt guilty for eating her big ice cream yesterday while i was depressed.

and again, thanks Vian! you know how much i ♥ you :D ~
thanks to Goput too for bringing waffles! ♥

i had a very great time at school today.

we played "punching" at the class.
the game works like this : Anis punched me and i punched her back.

me and Anis punched those boys in our class and they went on with their cool faces like, "Oh that doesn't hurt at all".
good thing is, Vybriken said the punch on my left fist is getting stronger!
so i punched and punched and punched those boys until there's a little cut on my fist.

i would like to show you a picture of it but the camera is nowhere to be seen,
so whatever.

by the freaking way, the weather right now is terribly wonderful.
the air is damp, there's no sunlight and it's going to rain.
i love rain.

oh it's raining!
i love it.
like really really love it until i want to slam my head on the wall.

so i found my old pictures.

i was young back then and now im getting FAT!
im a big ball of meat so dont get near to me.

anyway, i still remember how serious i am with life long time ago.
i mean, i was having no real teenage life.
most of my old posts were about sadness.
[you can read them on my archive]

i talked more about educatoinal and mature things before.
but now, you can see that mostly i've been talking about my life.
im not changed.

they said i've changed.
they said i used to be reading books instead of talking.
guess what? you dont know me so you dont have any rights to say that.

i stopped reading books for a reason.
i stopped reading books because i would like to concentrate more on educational books.
you know if im addicted to a book, i'll stay up late until morning just to finish reading it.

but still, those people [especially those in my classroom] judged me.
even though they dont even know the real reason, they judged me.
they even blamed my bestfriends for turning me into ME.

i was like, 'Hey, this is the real me.'
my attitude will change based on my mood.
im kind of a moody person.

if i have no mood, i'll stay silent and read books.
if i have a hyper mood, i'll play with my bestfriends.
if i am sad, i'll get super crazy.
if i am depressed, i am noisy.

see that?
right now im having a fun teenage life and NOBODY can turn my teenage life into a DULL teenage life.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I think I'm mad,
For falling for you.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Story Of A Dead Icecream.

once upon a time during recess just now, me and Vian went to buy some icecream.
we did and my icecream was really big [i told the seller to give me a big icecream].

we were very happy.
we run, we jump, we flew, we swim with a big big smile on our face.

i went la la la this is the best day in my life because my icecream was bigger than Vian's.
i was going to show off my big icecream infront of those sad human beings.
when i was about to eat the big icecream, suddenly the icecream happily fell down.
and it died.

*sound of a broken mirror*

my heart was broken into pieces.
i dont know what to do with my life anymore.
i have nowhere to go.
i have no clue on what to do.

i was depressed.
i was teary.

honestly, i cried a little even though i knew it's childish for crying over a dead icecream.
but i was TOO SAD!
life is being hard on me again!

i planned to show off my icecream infront of Anis and say, "HAHA! In your face, sucker!" because she didnt get to buy icecream with us.

but instead, Alfaziana laughed at me in my face. great.
[which made me even more sad and i wanted to cry out loud like a 5 years old kid]

Vian was trying to cheer me up which is very nice of her.
[but i kept on staring at her while she was happily peacefully eating her icecream]

Fadli was trying to cheer me up too, which is kind of considerable.
and soon those boys in my class were talking about that big dead icecream and laughed at me.
how great is that?

i planned to buy two cones of big icecream tomorrow.
if one fell down, i still have one more left.
but if both of them fell down? okay i changed my mind.

let's change the subject before i get even more depressed.
im going to show you some random pictures that i captured a few days ago.

[a cute earphone :D!]

[yeah currently my dream is to do that tour♥]

[a few days ago, my fingers were torn because of that freaking acoustic.]

[gross enough? nope.]

while i was eating the junk food named Mamee, i found this inside that keropok.

[it's a sticker of Giant from Doraemon!]

[i sticked that sticker on Lowong's book because she looked like Giant.]

soon, i doodled on her book.

[she should be grateful since an artist like me would like to doodle on her book. JK LOL]


i still want my big big big icecream :'(

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Tuesday, July 19, 2011
im not afraid to admit it anymore :)

okay so im listening to Landon Pigg - Falling In Love at the Coffee Shop.
i feel like sharing that song with someone.
i recommend you guys to listen to it because it's really wonderful

anyway, life is being hard on me again.

it was really awkward and i felt weird talking to you.
especially when you were talking to me and asked me for your shirt.
it's like the past was real but it never exist.

enough talking about that because i dont give a freaking damn.
i have someone else to think of ♥ LOL.
finally, im not afraid to admit it anymore :)

and i just realised that I AM FREE!
i am free to admit anything because there's nothing to hide!
why should i hide, right?

guys, i just want to tell you to be honest with yourself and with people.
the honesty might be embarrassing or it can cause anger.
but please remember that if you LIE instead of being honest, it will turn out even more worse.
trust me.

there's nothing wrong with being honest.
because it is not wrong to speak out your opinions.

being honest doesn't mean you need to be rude.
being honest means you talk about the truth but in a positive and polite way.
you get what i mean?

if you're speaking out your opinion and at the same time you're rude,
people will look down on you.
they wont respect you.

one more thing.
if you didn't say the things that you want to say, your heart wont be satisfied.
if you didn't do the things that you want to do, you're not going anywhere.
you'll just stay constant in one place with the constant unsatisfication.

i rambled too much.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, July 18, 2011
honesty brings happiness.

i just knew what i did on last Saturday night.
i completely lost myself that night.
oh my freaking gosh it's so damn embarrassing!

i cant believe that i did such things like that.
that's not even me!
that's my brain.

i humiliated myself and i cant face the world.
i would NEVER go back to that place ever again.

im angry with myself.

but i gained at least one good thing from that incident.
i learned that honesty brings happiness.
i dont think i should explain you why because one day you'll face it by yourself and you'll understand.

today my bestfriends taught me that expressing feelings is not gross at all.
all this time i've been living with my feelings bottled up.
i've always thought that expressing feelings is a very disgusting thing to do.
thanks to them, now im kind of able to be honest with my feelings.

so is it okay to say that i completely fell in a deep love?
it's gross but im asking you, is it okay?

[i love NeverShoutNever]

okay this is getting more weird.
i'd better stop.

but tell me one last time.
is it okay?

oh and listen to this wonderful song!

[very meaningful!]

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, July 17, 2011
Last Saturday Night. a new song.

what the hell am i doing last night?
okay i need to take a deep breath and calm down.

everything was just a dream.

firstly, i went to Anne's sister's birthday party.
i dont know how but we bought three bottles of Tequila Camino.

i told myself not to drink it but i have drank cocktail before and i've never tried tequila.
so i tried it.

i dont know why but it tasted so good.
i know i shouldn't have, but i kept on drinking it.
yes, i cursed myself for that.

soon, i got a lil' bit drunk.
there it goes again.

i learned the lesson.
dont ever show me an alcoholic beverage!

i guess i talked too much, asked too much and did something too much.
[just like what i did before]

the only thing that i remember is, i hugged Anne.
i dont want to do that kind of thing but my brain controlled me!
you know i would never do such things like that.
[curse you, brain]

after hugging Anne, i cant remember what i did after that.
it's like a blank memory you know.
like it's just a dream and never happened at all.

or is it really a dream?
oh my gosh YES!
it's just a dream.
HAHA sucker.

but if it's really a dream, why am i feeling dizzy right now?
and why i cant remember how did i get back home last night?

oh my gosh look what i found in my camera.



[Dilla and Dedeng]

[random snap?]

most of all, WTF are these?

where the hell did they came from?
my camera. right.
and who captured it?
me. right.

so everything was a dream?
no. it was REAL.

harsh truth is, i really dont know what i did last night.
maybe i should ask Katy Perry to make a new song entitled "Last Saturday Night".

oh my freaking gosh im so damn embarassed.
i bet i was being such a nuisance last night.
i was being very annoying with my nonstop talking mouth

so i already knew how did i get back home.
but i still dont know what i did last night!
im depressed. LOL.

let me die in a big hole and suffer forever in it!

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Saturday, July 16, 2011
eventually she gave up.

i fell asleep early last night i didnt manage to broadcast live.
other than that, i have other more important things to think about.

after tired of trying to dance in the rain instead of hiding from the storm,
she eventually gave up.

she decided to give herself a freedom.
instead of playing in the rain or hiding from the storm, she decided to sit, drink a cup of mocha while staring at the window, feeling the breeze of the fresh damp air from the rain.

because eventually, she gave up.

that sentence keeps on playing inside my brain.
it's like a non-stop pouring jug of milk.

why do i need to get through the same damn thing in such a short time?
i thought everything will be splendid.

it's because somebody cursed my life.
right. no wonder.

i always give advices for those who in need.
it's such a shame that i can freely advice others while i cant fix myself.

im done.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Thursday, July 14, 2011
Parachute ♥ *updated*

im so sorry for talking more about music these days.
but i cant help it because nobody hates music, right?
[except if you're not a human form]

everybody loves it.
some are even addicted with it.
so dont blame me ♥

as i get back from home, Anne texted me and asked me to go out with her.
i did and we went out until 5.30PM.
it's fun being with her, trust me.

what i learned from today is, hating brings nothing.
everybody makes mistakes and i need to accept it.
but still, i forgive people but i wont forget what they did to me.
so someday i might automatically recall their mistakes if a situation brings it up.

im done with hating bitches.
[unless they pissed me off]

back to the story.
since i just get back home, i was browsing on YouTube and i found a band called Parachute.
im officially loving them. [but not as much as i love David Choi]
some of their songs are oh so damn meaningful to me!

you should listen to this one if you want to be in peace :

[acoustic version]

if their songs are all in acoustic version, they'll be amazing.

and MOST importantly, listen to this one! :

[their lyrics are indeed meaningful.]

everytime i found something that i consider as interesting and wonderful, i'll share it with people!
so dont get bored with me.
just slap me in the eyes and say , "Shut the F up, you mother F-er!"
nah im just kidding.

im not quite sure what to feel.
i want to have more time to study but at the same time i want the time to pass me by quickly.

whatever, shut up.

songs gave me inspirations.
i guess i'll broadcast live on BlogTV tomorrow to reduce my stage fright.
[just in case i'll became an artist one day. JK LOL]

so i made a schedule and i'll be on live tomorrow at 10PM.
if you would like to see me, click here : http://www.blogtv.com/People/FeodoraGrace , register, log in and you're finished.

bye :)


i forgot to tell you that i just knew on how to make a high quality video.
damn it!
i should've known earlier and my Happy Aliens Part III would be in high quality.
but apparently, it's too late.

my videos are all in low quality and im kind of lazy to reupload them.
so let's just let it be.

im just telling.
because i know how to produce a good video already! :D

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, July 13, 2011
David Choi ♥

as David Choi's biggest fan, i cant believe i missed being up-to-date.
i just saw the official video of his song By My Side today.

it was released on 7th July!
i should've known about this earlier! damn.
blame it on my studies that made me unable to check his page and the YouTube everyday.

by the way, his made a song that will be featured in the movie "Lucky" which will be released on 15th July.

[this song actually give me happiness]

i would like to buy the three of his albums but i dont have a freaking PayPal!
yeah, it sucks to be me.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Tuesday, July 12, 2011
i admire Dakota Fanning :)

im very sleepy right now and i planned to get a nap or else i wont be able to concentrate on my studies.
before that, im going to tell you about Dakota Fanning!

if you dont know who she is, she acted in Charlotte's Web at such a young age, she acted in Push and in Twilight Saga too!
[just Google her name.]

i admire her so damn much.
[im not a lesbo, okay. yeuw]

firstly, it's about her eyes.
they're sharp and beautiful.

secondly, it's about the way she walk.
oh my freaking gosh.
i LOVE the way she walk!
she walked like she was in a fashion runaway and it comes naturally from her.

[you should watch this movie and you'll understand.]

thirdly, she's good in playing a serious character.

[she played the character of Jane in Twilight Saga]

the movie Push is wonderful.
anyway, you should see her in Twilight Saga.

im off with my dreams♥

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-