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Wednesday, August 31, 2011
why am i so damn stupid?

okay so i've learned my lesson, again.
and i broke my promises that i made with myself.
i thought i've already learned my lesson after this incident >> Click here!

why am i so stupid?
anybody here is willing to explain it to me?

*a big big big sigh*

last night i vomitted more than 5 times.
[which is very gross]
in the end, i was able to sleep in peace but with a pain stomach.

right now, my stomach hurts and my head is dizzy.
it's like the world is revolving around me.

anyway, last night my dad came into my bedroom.
i have no idea why lately he's too sensitive.
firstly, he argued with my sister.
and now, he's trying to argue with me.

he said that i was drunk because after i came home, i went to sleep.
unreasonable, huh?
i said to him that i was tired, that's why i was going to sleep earlier.

after that, he scolded me saying that i came home late.
i said that i came home early but they're the one who came home late.
he was silent for a while.

again, he scolded me saying that i didnt pick up my phone when he called me.
i told him that my phone had no battery at that time because my mom wont let me charge it.
finally, he walked away.

Dear Feodora Grace, Im so damn sorry that I disappoint you.
But there's nothing I can do when I am "minta puji".
This is the last time I'll promise you that it wont happen again.
If I broke our promises for this last time, I will jump off the bridge and never go back to the surface [until the ambulance came].
Oh and please remind me about the pain that I'll need to endure for 24 freaking hours if I did the same damn thing.
Last thing, I am so sorry.
Feodora Grace, I just want to tell you that I love you and my brain.
Please eat lots of books so you can get at least 4As 3Bs in PMR.

this is more worse than having tonsils.
i want to get well faster and eat tons of delicious foods!

i vomitted way too many times already and now it feels like im an anorexic.
it's good though because now my stomach is flat.
i should vomit whenever my tummy is big.

okay im too sad.
im such a pathetic and gross human being last night.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, August 29, 2011
i am depressed. ARGHT!

so it's been a while i haven't updated my blog.
is it?

i've been busy eating History book lately and i need to shove all of them into my mouth.
i borrowed two books last week [after i got free membership that day] and finished reading them in two days.

today me and Anne went to the town to plan some things for tomorrow.
i hope everything will turn out RIGHT and FUN.

i get back home at 6.30PM++, i jumped to the bed and fell asleep.
after that, somebody woke me up at 10.30PM++ and i cant get back to sleep!

anyway, i am beyond HUNGRY right now and i cant eat because it'll make me even more fat.
OH! now it reminds me to tell you an incident during i was in the library last Saturday.

while i went to the library's counter to put my bags, there's this one freaking guard talking to me.
he said, "Eh gemuk suda kau ah. Dulu sa tingu ok lagi."


and i stand there, stucked with my own moments, i fell into a deep hole of thoughts and decided i wont eat for 1 month!

im not being anorexic or anything but I AM DEPRESSED.
now i felt the urge to choke that guard for making me more depressed.

im comfortable with my life right now and that's why i eat a lot.
sa makan banyak sebab sa bahagia.
seriously, who can you blame?

but thanks to that guard, now im not happy anymore.
my happy little world has been crushed by his honesty.

i need to kill some ants to release my depression.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Thursday, August 25, 2011
this LAME girl :D ♥

since this girl really wants some fame, here's some fame for you.
lemme tell you from the beginning until the end of this story.

oh and dont worry, i wont say "I hate my sister!" or "My sister is such a bitch!".
because, HAHA, who in the hell would write those childish remarks?

anyway, this morning i woke up early and i took care for that so-called-CyberCafe.
me and my eldest sister did lots of work before we opened it.
we'll need to clean the floor, wipe the computers, execute those games and much more things.

suddenly, this girl restart the computer [which i dont know why she did so] and i'll need to execute those games again.
but this girl HAVE NO PATIENCE at all.
she told me to execute it like several times and i was annoyed.
it's not like she's gonna play those games anyway so i ignored her.

[which soon she claimed that she'll play those games after i executed them. and you know that she can always play other computers first.]

finally, i came to her place to execute those games and guess what she said?

she said, "Kau tidak layak jaga ni cc. Tu headphone rosak pun sbb kau tida pandai jaga. Itu keropok pn kau tida jaga! Bagus lagi saya yang jaga oh!"

[English translation : "You're not qualified to take care of this shop. That headphone is broken because of you. And you didn't look after those junk foods. It's more better if I'm the one who look after this shop."]

seriously, that PISSED me off.
me and my eldest sister did ALL of those jobs and there you are, COMPLAINING but doing NOTHING.

you even said, "Kau pikir saya belanja kau KFC untuk apa?"
so you treat me that KFC because you want me to be your slave?
to follow ALL of your ORDERS?
to always respect you even though you never respect me?

girl, i can buy my own foods but you're the one who OFFERED to treat me foods.
im NOT the one who asked for it.
you're the ONE who brought up that idea.

if you didnt brought up that KFC matter, i would NEVER compare you to my eldest sister.
of all this time, i kept things bottled up inside because i dont want to ARGUE with YOU.
but since you've CROSSED MY LIMITS, then i said all of the things that i've kept inside me.

i cried because you're TOO SELFISH and TOO UNCONSCIOUS of yourself.
you've never THOUGHT of anyone else, you just see YOUR PAIN.

after a while, you SCREAMED like a madwoman.
which freaked me out because what a "MATURE" act for your age.
like i said before, i know i am immature but when you gets older, people EXPECT you to be more mature.

at least, act like a BIG SISTER.

while she was screaming, i ignored her because she just want some attention.
i prepared myself to go out from that house because i dont want to waste time arguing with her.

while i was waiting for my taxi to come, she thought that i was calling my mom to pick me up.
she chased after me because she wants me to listen to her "points".
[she's too desperate for me to listen to her worthless craps]
she said, "Kalau berani, kau jalan kaki ba pigi naik bas. Apa main telefon mama. Pakaian pun macam pakaian clubbing."

i said, "What a good point you have there" and then i walked away.
guess what's next?

she THREATEN me.
she said that she'll burn my room if i didnt go to the place where she was standing.
and i almost LAUGHED my ass off.

did it crossed her mind that i'll be scared if she threaten me such things like that?
sorry i laughed :)

girl, you're just too "mature" for your age.
go and grab some lolipop.

that freaking taxi picked me up really late so i need to walk to the bus stop.
but that taxi came after i walked half-way, so i came in and i went to the library.

good thing is!
because they gave me that coupon, so i dont need to pay RM10 for registry.

sadly, there's no WiFi in the library so i just borrowed some books.
i walked to the town, i ate delicious foods, and then i went to this CyberCafe, and guess what?

that girl POSTED her worthless essays on Facebook.
she even tagged me.
seriously? oh yes, i am dead serious.

i dont know what to say to this kind of people anymore.
they're just wasting my time and they need to disappear from this world.

p/s to the girl : if you're reading this, im really glad!
thanks for wasting your time reading this because i didn't waste my time reading your essays that you posted on your Facebook.

im kind of lazy to go back home since that girl will start it again.
she WONT be satisfied until she declared herself as the WINNER.

she will only be satisfied if i cant bring her points down.
but since I CAN BRING HER POINTS DOWN, she wont be satisfied with it.

girl, eating lots of delicious stuffs are FUN.
have fun in writing more essays!
:D ♥

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

the feeling of being sick but you're not really sick.

my blog is supposed to be the place where i spill out my feelings.
this is not a place to get fame.
this is not a place to show off, neither to achieve popularity.

this is my blog and ME.
im talking about my life which means everything.

today, im kind of disappointed with myself.
for the kind of person that i chose to show everybody.
and i chose the wrong character.

today, im just kind of sad.
and i dont know why.

have you ever felt like that?
feeling sad but not knowing why and that makes you aware that something isn't right.

why am i oversensitive these days?
i think it's because of the PMS.
oh shit, right.

people dont understand me.
my friends dont.

if they hurt me, i'll just act like it's a NO BIG DEAL.
and i pulled out the IDGAF face.
they thought that im super fine with it so they just dont give a damn too.

when they hurt me once, i'll hurt them TWICE.
because that's the way i stand so that im not gonna get hurt anymore.
with that, they thought that im EVIL.

yes, a lot of people said that im EVIL and CRUEL.
but who is more cruel?
the society or me?

if im not evil, people are gonna step on me just like an alien stepping on a silent shit.
i tried being kind once and it DOESN'T WORK.
they backstabbed me.

so in the end, I AM EVIL AND I LIKE IT.
plus, im gonna do more evil deeds and evil things to evil people.
that's the way to prevent from getting hurt.

dont just judge a book by it's cover.

btw, thanks to Anis, now my Tumblr is too cool to be true.

im evil so i ain't gonna teach you how

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
i love my bestfriends♥ a lot♥

i was about to blog about this yesterday but i suddenly fell asleep at 6PM++.
im hungry right now but anyway, let's continue.

yesterday, me and my bestfriends check in into a hotel again!
we check in not because of anything but it's because this time Dora joined us!

fyi, it's very rare for us to hang out with Dora other than school time.
so let's just treasure the wonderful moments!
furthermore, the hotel was BETTER than the previous one.

we are teenagers and teenagers should be CRAZY.
not DULL.
because it's not fun to be crazy when you're an ADULT.

[opening the door!]

before opening the door, i was like "Ohh my camera! camera! Dont open it! Pictures come first!"
haha and so we did camwhore, well, a little.

[Lanie, Anne, Dora, Anis]

[please dont mind my fugly face :D]

every room that we get was always the last one!
312 and 318.

[it's time to jump!]

before doing anything, the first thing that you need to do is JUMP!

[jump jump!]

[let the party begin!]

after that, you'll need to stroll the TOILET!



and then, change your clothes!
wear panties and let's mess the bed with make-ups!

[makeups makeups]

[girl things.]

[Dora and Anis]

[double camera]

[this is Dora :)]

[Lanie never gets her ass off the line =_=]

[Anis doing her things]

[Anne and Dora doing their things]

while me, i was doing my thing which was camwhoring.


[Lanie was doing her thing]

it's time for MAKEUPS and HAIRS-DO-OVER!
we're girls and it's IMPORTANT to do these kind of things.
now that's the spirit, babe.

[curling the hair]

[we're just like a family! :D]

[showing off make-ups]

Anne and Dora were doing hair while me and Anis were doing make-ups.
such a perfect combination, right?
[just agree with me!]

[we're going to mess the toilet]


[what was i thinking?]

[Anne finished curling and now moving on with her eyes!]


[puppy eyes!]

[white skin :( *jealousy* ]

[she didnt do makeups neither hair! WHY?!]

[ghost in a blanket]

[gambar passport]

[gambar passport]

[US! thanks to Lanie for capturing this]

now it's time for Dora to do her makeups!


[im learning new skills now]

[cute baby :D]


[hair curler]

[Dora was curling my hair. :D]

[done! haha curly hair. i felt hippy]

[since it's cold, i changed my clothes and attempt to cuddle Anis!]

[everytime i was camwhoring with a person beside me, my face will always cut half. why, camera? WHY?!]

[horror movies]

[look how messy this toilet was. wait why there's underline below these words?]

credits and thanks to Anis for capturing some pictures!
she captured these while i was doing my hair.


[looking outside]

[tired already?]


[show me your face~ come on babe~ come on~ *sounds like a rapist*]

conclusion : IT WAS TERRIBLY FUN!

after that, we did lots of things!
we DANCE around half-naked, we DRANK things and we WATCHED horror movie!

my bestfriends danced around with a MATURE and cool dances.
while i was just jumping around and around and around just like a star because i dont know how to dance.
=_= sucks to be me, huh.

i captured 188 pictures and 4 videos.
since im lazy to upload all of them, im not going to.

i would like to tell you things more DETAIL but im too tired.

good news, it's HOLIDAY for 1 week and half!
well, it's not really a "yayy" since the PMR is around the corner.

im too EXHAUSTED, guys.
good bye♥


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-