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Saturday, December 31, 2011
"Happy New Year" MY ASS. I AM NOT HAPPY.

i am really not in any mood for the freaking new year right now.
wanna know why? it's because my surroundings are so NOT new-year-ish.

we're supposed to go to Ranau for the New Year right now but my parents decided not to!
basically, if my mom wants to go, my dad will.
since she don't want to go, then i am staying in this freaking house for the whole freaking "NEW YEAR"!

im not in a good mood to blog either.
but what can i do?! i am so damn bored and aodmnaspidnsmaipfdkwdwqapoaiomasod!woplaksdmnsaiosijadoiasdokmdsakl
dasiojdaoisdjasiodjdmjka dfiuewajh disaknksandjasdsa

my bestfriend invited me to go to her house at 6.30PM and i would like to but i've no friends to assist me!
ohh i am so dying.
Lowong is going to sleep over her friend's house and i am so jealous.

everybody's busy talking about the freaking new year while im just sitting here, eating, getting fat and dying.
curse my life. my life is so dull right now. it should be exciting but it is not.
stop talking about the freaking new year because i might explode.

i will do the Day 10 a.k.a my 2012 resolutions at the early of the year 2012 [in other words, 12AM].
there will be countdowns everywhere and i'll just count my ass off.
there'll be lots of fireworks and enthusiasm can be heard from the neighbour.
oh i am so jealous of them.

[now Google is torturing me too! i thought you were my friend!]

there were times when i just HATE everyone around me.
well, one of that time is right now.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Friday, December 30, 2011
people change & Day 9.

how many times do i need to convince myself that things have changed?!
seasons change and so do people.
that's the fact of life. sometimes you wish they never changed but they did anyway.
sometimes i wonder why do we need to be friends even though one day friends will walk out from your life.

now that i've finally learned that fact, it's time to leave all of those behind.
it's time to start being independent.

truth is, i've lost the moon while counting the stars.

Day 9 : The end of last school year/the beginning of this one.

Do you mean the end of last year's school and the beginning of this year's school?
Okay again, my own definition.
[this topic is no fun at all]

This is [click here] what I did during the end of last year's school.
At that time I demanded for school to come because holiday seemed long at that time. This year, I want MOREEEEEEEEEEE holiday! gosh.

I am lazy too blog about this boring thing so I'll just give you the links of my old posts.

Click here for the beginning of this year's school.
Believe me that back then I was still a stupid naive girl fhjasudnasokldmasudnasij words cannot describe. I'm just stupid.

so i am still asking myself, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!
and i started to like the RED colour.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Thursday, December 29, 2011
jealousy makes me laughing my ass off.


i am laughing very hard at you for being such an asshole little biatch who gets jealous everytime.

when i am jealous, i refuse to talk.
so please shut up and both of you just go and be in a relationship faster please.
im lame.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Day 8 : The funniest getaway.

Day 8 : The funniest getaway.

By get away do you mean "the act or instance of escaping" ?
I dont really get the title so let me just talk things based from my own definition.

This year I've got to admit that there were times I skipped school just to sleepover at my bestfriends' house. HAHA only my bestfriends will get it.
It was funny since before the PMR, I skipped school once but I still managed to get flying colours [don't misunderstand. i am really really grateful with my results].

So that means it doesn't matter if you study hard or not as long as you study SMART.
Study hard means being hard on the subjects that you're studying but study smart means understanding on the subjects. Of course study smart is always the best choice.
Ooops, out of topic. My bad.

Anyway, yeah.
Sorry because there's no photo so this is just another boring post. The pictures are in my other lappy.
However, click here for an example of our sleepover.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
I feel like talking a lot today. Farewell 2011 :)

i've got to admit that everytime i come across a blog who play this thing, i'll click "X".
because i think it was boring and i dont give a damn.

but today i came across this one on Tumblr and it's a good one to flashback the memories of 2011.
since 2011 is ending and 2012 is starting, hence i'll need to talk about 2011 for the last time.

i've already calculated the days so i'll need to do Day 1 until Day 7 because there are THREE days left before New Year.
[why am i even explaining these things to you guys?]

i'll make sure that i wont make this post a boring post.
[if it is boring, then you should click the "X" button and get a life]
i just feel like talking today but there's no one to talk to so im talking to the blog.

Day 1 : A few things you'll never forget in 2011.

At the early 2011, I moved from my house temporarily and I was forced to use the Celcom Broadband. It sucks a lot that I missed every interesting conversations with my bestfriends on Facebook.

I will never forget the moment where me and my bestfriends we shooting short movie at Taman Mahathir. There were lots of laughter and joy and fun [all are just the same thing]. We finished shooting Day 1 and Day 2 but never finished shooting Day 3.

[Dicky, Marling, Manisah]

I was driving Marling's car and was waving at Manisah as I passed her by until I almost drove out from the road. Funny moments.

I won't forget the moments during our Scout Camping. Almost all of the participants were screaming hysterically because they saw a ghost [there were some issues about that case but since this is gonna be a happy post, i refuse to talk about it]. People were praying at that time while me and my bestfriends were laughing. In the end, the four of us formed a circle and we prayed together.
Hahahaha. Having guy friends is awesome.

[our Scout Camping]

[Anne and Me. yeah im so abui]

The most unforgettable thing is, our sleepover after our night party. The party went well and awesome [at least we think it is]. HAHA I still remember that we met one of the KL Gangster's actor named something like Ajip [i didn't even bother to know what's his name] but Dicky accidentally called him "Ajiz" which we thought was "Najis". HAHAHA.
[you dont laugh because you dont understand]

[that's the "Ajiz" with the black shirt]

[our night party]

[laughed hard on this picture everytime i see it]

This year, I spent most of my time with my bestfriends. I didn't spend lots of time with my family so there's really nothing to talk about.

Day 2 : Relationship(s).

Can I just skip this one? No? Okay, okay. Let's just make this simple and be honest here.
If it gets corny, make sure you don't puke off.

On April [i guess], I broke up with the guy that I've been in relationship with for two years and half. I'm the one who dumped him okay. NO guy has ever dumped me before.
On December, I broke up with another guy. Again, I'm the one who suggested to break up.

Overall, I broke up two times in one year. One at the early of the year and one at the end of the year. ROFLMAO [Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off]. So now I'm ending this year ALONE.
Which makes me thinking that maybe there's really no suitable guy for me out there because I'm meant to be forever alone.

See? I don't need to rush. I don't mind being single anyway.

Day 3 : The best day.

The best day absolutely goes to 25th February! Wanna know why? I'm sure if you've been reading my blog for awhile now, you'll know why because I've talked about this thing for like countless of times already.
Oooooops, I'll tell you this on Day 7 [spoiler brat].

I got lots of best day this year but I'm gonna tell you one of them.
The second best day goes to 22nd November which was the date where I got my PMR results and I got something beyond my expectations! I got a freaking flying colours and I'm still happy about it.

Day 4 : The worst day.

Ohhhhhhhhh I got LOTS OF WORST DAY this year! How I wish I could tell you every single day of them.
However, this one is absolutely the WORST DAY ever. It was the day when I went to Anne's sister's birthday party at HoneySweet Restaurant and I lose my mind.
Click here for the story

Oh gosh how I feel like cursing myself a lot right now for being such an asshole. Seriously.
Why I was so stupid and shit back then? Feodora Grace, you're such a bitch and I dont even know why am I living in this body of yours. I should've lived inside Selena Gomez's body.

Let's just not talk about this thing further because this may cause a brain damage to me.

Day 5 : The most memorable moment.

Of course the moment where me and all of my bestfriends were hanging out. Even before PMR, we were still hanging out. After PMR, we were hanging out even more.

One of them is when we went to Stella Grill Island.

[at Stella Grill Island]

Especially during me, Manisah and Annah went di hujung-hujung sungai and we were having so much fun hiding 'things' beneath the stones and rocks. NGAHAHAHA. Only the three of us will understand what I'm talking about.

Day 6 : Your bestfriend(s).

Early this year after I've finally broke up with that guy, I started to be more closer with my bestfriends. I started making new close friends and become more friendly with my guy friends because there's no one who'll cry if I get close to guys anymore. Oh thank heaven.
Please don't be narrow-minded. By having lots of guy friends doesn't mean that I'm a bitch. Actually guy friends are a lot more better than girl friends because they don't judge like most girls do and they don't do comparisons. Plus, I can play rough games with them, for instance, Counter Strike.

I lost one of my bestfriends this year because finally I know that we're nobody for her. I mean, I am nobody to her. Just a friend that you can reach for whenever you're in need. However, this year I've learned lots of things about FRIENDSHIP and RELATIONSHIP.
I've learned on how to differentiate between a friend and a bestfriend.

Enough talking! I'm gonna show you my bestfriends and my close friends.
[In my definition, close friends are the ones who always hang out with us]

[us B-)]

[the gangsta bags]

[Manisah, Annah, Dora, Me, Bembiyani, Goput]

Suddenly the amount of our heads were decreasing.
From that many [pictures above] to this many [pictures below].

[Manisah, Me, Annah, Bembiyani]

[ajaran Abang Feo]

[detect my head. these are my friends except tuuna daling Manisah]

[my only guy bestfriend]

I want to talk more about them but I've got lots of things to do so let's move on faster.
Bestfriends, I love you guys :) MUAH MUAH.

Day 7 : Your birthday.

I'm sure some of you knew the story that I'm gonna tell right now.
Well if you dont, read my old posts.
Click here and click this.

For my birthday this year, I never expect for any surprises or any interesting things.
My bestfriends knew well that my religion don't celebrate birthdays. I never thought that they would throw a big birthday surprise for me [i consider it as a big birthday surprise because they made it at a hotel] ! There were even two cakes.

[i admit it that i cried a little]

It's the most awesome present ever. I would
never be able to forget it.
[I would never forget the first time Goput danced on the chair. HAHA]
I love my bestfriends. They brighten up my gloomy days.

The best part of the birthday party was, DANCING.
We danced like there's no tomorrow and sang like it's our house. Even there's this one group dancing. So supporting :)

[i never thought you guys do love me :P]

So that's it. My birthday this year is the BEST.
Flying kisses for my bestfriends and my close friends. MUAH MUAH.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

i just wanna scream. so jelly.

and i was like oh my gosh why am i so jealous?
it's not like i've got anything to do with it.
i dont even have any rights to get mad or get jealous.

but all i wanna do right now is just scream.
i want to tell the whole freaking world that i am jelly.
this feeling is a bastard.


relax, Feo. relax. *inhale, exhale*
think of something that you can do to release these feelings.

all i can think to say right now are, "BIKIN PANAS!" and "SA BENCI KAU!" and "WHATEVER!"

sa mau kasitau kau betapa bikin panas nya kau.
aiyaaa!! sa jeles!! sa pun mau!!
[annoying thoughts]

basically, i can't do anything about it.
i can't stop from being jealous and i can't get mad either.
the only thing i can do is scream.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, December 26, 2011
for girls who are heartbroken, this is an advice for you :)

why do i feel like being honest today?
ARGHTT! right. that one post that i published on October is killing me.
so i drafted it.

LESS THAN ONE WEEK left and then it's SCHOOL TIME!
oh gosh im NOT ready.
why i feel like my holiday is so short?

i didnt do much for this holiday.
nothing inspiring.

anyway, the not really shocking news that i decided to tell you guys today is.......


not that shocking, huh?

i saw lots of people trying to tell the whole world that they're single.
the main point for them doing that is : so that there are guys/girls who will flirt them.

those single people tend to say things like "Oh Im lonely, Im single" and i was like what the heck, bitch?
i cannot deny [you also need to admit it] that those kind of human beings are IRRITATING and ANNOYING.
they'll post it on Facebook and makes me go !@#$%^&*()ahjdbjahsR^*U(*(@&&$^ everytime.
oh gosh how i wanna throw grenades on them so badly.

back to the topic, you guys might be wondering why because my previous post on October was all loveydovey.
i cannot explain it in words but luckily i found the EXACT explainations on Tumblr.
[say thanks to Tumblr. in fact, im very grateful that Tumblr exists]

[Tumblr : picture explains everything]

for girls out there who're going through a heartbreak right now, this is an awesome advice for you.

just remember that you can NEVER find the right one if you're still holding on to the WRONG one.
remember that we're still YOUNG and we wont be any younger every day.
hence, we need to be HAPPY while we're still teenagers.
we need to create something that we can laugh at when we're old.
not something bitter.

take it as a lesson to learn.
on every aspect of my life, i'll take it as a lesson to learn.
if i screwed something up, i'll take it as a lesson.
like i've already said before, we need to make different mistakes everyday so that we can learn a lesson.

so if you think that you just made a big mistake, dont ever regret it.
take it as a lesson to never do the same again because you already knew how it feels like.

umh, if you get what i mean.

every day is a good day because we're still breathing.
and as long as we're still breathing, we can create something even more better.

as for boys, you're just a boy.
you dont and wont understand so please back off.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, December 25, 2011

i've been working from 6PM until 7.40PM [which is right now] and finally my new layout has finished by the time that i promised!
yes, i made the background and the banner by myself.
no help from anyone.

the Photoshopping part wasn't hard.
the hardest part was the photoshoot.
i cant find a good place with a good lightning.
in the end, i decided to capture pictures infront of the house.

[i was supposed to look down at my blog's posts]

that shirt is big so it makes my arms look short.
it was getting dark, i didn't have much time to capture brilliant pictures so i captured simple pictures.

im not a big fan of the colour PINK.
instead, i quite dislike it actually.
but since it goes on with the vintage blablabla thing, i have no other choice.

i wanted to make a flowery background too.
maybe next time.

overall, everything is nice [for me]
thanks for the good job, Feo.
[praising myself]
the cold sweats prickling down from my face worth it all.

i've also decided to reveal my full name and use it as my main name in blog things.
Feodora Grace.

now i am hungry.
gonna update soon about our Family Gathering yesterday.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Saturday, December 24, 2011
today is just another beginning.

yesterday i went to somewhere peaceful.
after i've confessed everything, i want to go somewhere far away from this town.

i dont even know why.
all i know is, i want to.

my parents were convincing me to go to MRSM.
im giving it the second thought right now.
i need to travel far away.

dont be afraid to be different from the others.
it makes you special.

[this scenery makes me want to live in it forever]

after all of those, i need some laughter.
even if it's a fake one.

[his long eyelashes]

[there were lots of dairy cattles here]

as soon as i was trying to capture their picture, the camera's battery went off.
right. a perfect timing for a camera to be a complete jerk.

[just so you know, this is a dairy cattle]

a lot of things have changed :)

i need to let go of what i want to get what i deserve.
i wouldn't be able to find the right one if im still holding onto the wrong one.

i want to apologize to my bestfriends for being such a disappointment to them.
though they've told me to hold on, they need to respect my decision.

i cant have anything that i want in this world.
people will always come and go and new people come into your life and go after a while.
this circle will go on as long as im still breathing.

i want a new world.
i need one.

so today is just a new beginning for my life.
people change and we move on.
that's life.

I've been working hard so long
Seems like pain has been my only friend
My fragile heart's been done so wrong
I wondered if I'd ever heal again

Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same
All around me I can feel a change

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me, leave the past behind me,

hell yeah.

but i cannot deny that the hardest part is to delete those memories from my brain.
in fact, i cant delete those memories.
i cant delete those pictures either.

i dont think that i need to delete them.
i would never regret something that once made me smile.

so im learning now to leave it in the past and try forget.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Friday, December 23, 2011
i've tried.

i've already tried.
nothing can fix it anymore.

chances are given and wasted.
regretting is always better than constantly being hurt.

gonna be away for awhile from this house today.
so i will change my relationship status later after everything's official.

i tried ok.
and im the only one who's trying.
the girl who never stopped trying finally GIVE UP.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Thursday, December 22, 2011
Im having the best day ever in this year! :D

today i feel like i want to LOVE everyone around me.
with their non-stop congratulations and im on the fame today. lol
most of all, i wanna love myself and if i could, i will hug myself but if i do, i'll look stupid.

wanna know why?
because today i went to take my PMR results and i am SUPER DUPER happy.
it's like i want to bang my head on the wall because im too happy and i need to bang my head to suppress my happiness.

wanna know why?
it's becauseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

when i was given my results, i was like, OH MY GOSH! MY FREAKING GOSH! IS THIS REAL?!
and i felt like i want to laugh hysterically so i did.

i mean like, LOOK AT THIS!
after all that i've been through, those hard nights, those 24 Days of Torturement, FINALLY!

to be real honest here, i REALLY dont expect that i'll get straight As!
i never did hope because i thought it was impossible for me since during the last day before PMR, i was still playing around with my bestfriends.

i really need to pray to God right now and say THANK YOU!

im getting irritated with those who posted their beautiful results on Facebook.
[no offence]
at least i didnt show off my results on Facebook, okay.

i dont like it when people started to adress me as "Budak pandai" or such similar things like that.
the point is, if i got straight As for my SPM, only then you can call me the most awesome girl ever in this freaking world.

after i went to take my results, i was hanging out with my bestfriends and today is one of the best days in this year!
soon i went back home and UNFORTUNATELY i faced with a BORING face of a MOTHER.

really bitch? really?
my bestfriends' mothers praised me for having such a good results.
while you're just SLEEPING over there, not wanting to know anything, not even a single compliment.

i remembered that i was studying before and you said that i'll NOT pass.
look at me now! i even PASSED with flying colours and yet you're just taking it as a normal thing?!
what kind of mother are you?

there are lots of people out there who gets excited about my results, who wanted to celebrate my results while you're just pleasing your other daughter which turned out to be a complete bitch.


0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, December 21, 2011
what a merry day.

what a beautiful day!
my uncles, my aunt and my little cousins went to my house today.
luckily i've already took a bath and the Shokobutsu's shower cream smells super good.

while i was in my bedroom, this silent house suddenly turned into a noisy house full with kids' hyperactive voices.
i went downstairs and found out that it was cheerful.
[plus, there were lots of foods]

still remember Ashley?
she was here too with her lil bro, her sister and her big bro.
i told them to play computer games in that little shop.


she's still as cute as ever with her high-waisted short pants and her little wedges.
seriously, she's fashionable.
[her mom should take the credits]

[her sister, Erika]

i realised that her sister inherited our family's craziness.
none of my family are not crazy-minded [in a good way].
all of us are.

[her big brother, Allen]

too bad i forgot to take a picture of her lil bro, Darrel.

[this is Al, my lil bro]

we ate lunch together and it was very merry.
it makes me want to go back to my village because it's more merry over there.
[more little children of course]

i found a new territory today.

there's a big cushion behind me so i can lay down while Tumblrin'.
lately i've been Tumblrin' like everyday.
blame it for making this post more boring than ever.

most of all, i LOVE eating peanuts.
if you don't love it, then you must be nuts.
[whoah it rhymes]

here i am still denying the fact that PMR result will come out tomorrow!
oh gosh. im not hoping for straight As but at least please no Cs.

people are talking about it and they're nervous.
well im not really that nervous because the FACT is already there and we cant change the reality by being nervous or cry or being sad or cant sleep at night.
but you can change your reality by smoking weed.
just saying.

sometimes it irritates me when people are over-reacting over this matter.
i know how do you feel, in fact i am feeling the same too right now.
it's just that we need to CONTROL the feelings so that it wont overwhelm ourselves.

i know by saying this, i wont be able to change my result.
i knew that.
im saying things like this just so that i wont expect more.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-