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Monday, February 25, 2013
busybodies who don't know anything

my condition is not as bad as you thought.
in fact, it is BETTER than what you actually thought.
my life is not that bad but what can I do if I just hate this cruel world.

in my previous post, I’ve told you that I love ala kampung foods more than western foods.
I was talking about fried rice and coffee on Twitter and what’s the fault in that?

seriously, things are not that worse until those BUSYBODIES make it looks MORE WORSE.
by saying that some parents are stupidly selfish, that doesn’t mean that I am talking about about my own parents, right? 

*to be continued because i'm going to school and busybodies are still busybodies who make my life more worse*

*planned not to continue about this because it'll just ruin my day*

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
you should not tell a girl that she's fat or that she's ugly

i don't know how to begin my talk.
this is not called back-talking. this is more to sharing.
sharing is caring, remember?

guys should not easily tell a girl that she's fat or not beautiful [or the harsh word is : UGLY]
even if you are joking, girls will take it seriously. very seriously.
during the night, they will think about it thoroughly, and who knows what will they do to themselves that could bring damage to their bodies.

i am sorry to disappoint you but i am not beautiful and i am fat.
i accept it but there were times when i almost ruined myself by not eating rice for weeks and i survived by only drinking oat and eating biscuits.
there were those old timese where i did not eat anything at all for one month.
i only drank Nescafe 3 in 1 [that explains why i will feel dizzy everytime i drink it these days].

i am not the typycal beautiful and white Chinese girl.
in fact, i am not even Chinese. it's not in my blood.

seriously, what kind of boyfriend would joke with his girlfriend about her looks?
it is not even in the same zipcode as funny.

if you're after looks, then just break up with her!
if you're just after for fame because you love the attention, you're not worth it!

i am sensitive with these kind of things. and i am sure most of the other girls out there are sensitive with it too.
guys don't understand. maybe because they're okay if they're called ugly or fat or such things.
such a douchebag. jerk.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Friday, February 15, 2013
night of 14th February 2013

yesterday was unplanned but a good day. better than last year's at least.
i didn't ask for any gifts but i received one.
i should've stayed at home but i went and joined my peer to a steamboat.
my friends should know that i am an egotistical-to-the-hardcore girl.
my pride and dignity means everything to me.
i don't like to put people in trouble. i'd rather take those trouble myself.

despite those humiliating things, this shall be one of my good memories for this year.

[Neneng, Anis and me]

[Dicky and Andy]

[Maverick and Ming]

[whose is this?]

[delicious meat. yum yum. reminds me of Running Man. that show always makes me feel hungry]

[Bonus Question : What is the difference between meat and beef?]

[the sweet couple of the night]

[oh i'm jealous]

 [Dicky with his beloved beefs]

[mine was colourful]



[Daus the gangster of the night and Dinie]

i hope every day is a good day for you all, don't wait for another day to come to enjoy.
what i've learned from the book that i've been currently reading right now [which what i'll post about later] is that we it's not the years in our life that matter. it is the life in our years.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
1100th post and revision books as romantic gifts?.

it's the 1100th post and i've been blogging for 52 months already!
which means, i've been blogging for *searching for my calculator* .. FOUR freaking YEARS and THREE MONTHS!
will i be able to continue blogging until the day that i die?
let's wait for the answer together with me :)

[my blog's archive]

i've been through hardships and battles and a lot of things together with this bloggie.
although my blog is nothing special, it never did gain any awards, but i still do hope that the Bloggers will not delete this blog without my knowledge.
it is my biggest fear when i wake up the next morning, i turn on the PC or lappy, i Sign In into Bloggers and find that my blog has already been deleted.

i once got called by a disciplinary teacher because of this blog.
those people who were obviously wrong and got mentioned in this blog demanded for me to delete my posts.
for some cases, i did not. because i have my own reasons for each cases.
some threaten to file me a lawsuit or sue me because i humiliate them. in the end, those threats were nothing.

despite all those things, i still blog.
reason? obviously so that my future children would be able to read this and they will know that their momma's a rocker.
other than that, i would like to share with homo sapiens that exist in this world about the lessons that i've learned during growing up.

to change the subject,
lately most people are talking about the 14th of February which is the infamous Valentine's Day.
even Google acknowledged it. try googling "Valentine's Day" and it'll show the day of Valentine's Day every year. for this year, it falls on Thursday, this week.

for the previous years,
on 13th February 2011, i said "im gonna give myself a box of chocolates, take myself out to a nice dinner, take myself to a movie, and then bring myself home and make sweetpassionate love to myself." click here
on 14th February 2011, i spent the whole day with my bestfriends and close friends! :D click here
on 13th February 2012, i made a cover of a song in case a person confessed to me. click here
much to my disappointment, on 14th February 2012, that song was just a waste. click here

i found an old post back in the year 2010 where i made homemade chocolates but ended up eating them by myself. click here

i am talking about it not because i have something to look foward to.
i know, 14th of February is just gonna be a plain and simple and dull day for me.
nothing special to expect and such things because come on, my life isn't a movie.
my life is a nightmare.

a friend of mine texted me, asking if i were to be given gifts on 14th February, what would i like.
my first thought was chocolate. it's obvious because Valentine's Days are all about chocolate.
i was then asked again about the gifts other than chocolate.
i answered a necklace or a bracelet or a watch. a purple or pink G-Force watch would be nice because i like it and of course most other girls will like it too, right? no.
but then i came to the thought where revision books are better gifts. but come on, revision books are the dullest and most not romantic gifts people have ever thought at all.
it's my imagination. so i have every rights to imagine what kind of gifts i would like to receive.
it's not that i don't like other gifts and i already have Chemistry revision books but it would be nice to be given another. because i love books. but still, chocolates and a watch would be nice.
haish i am too picky but it's not like my imaginations are going to come true anyway.

IF i were given a gift, that doesn't mean i'm celebrating Valentine's Day.
[i'm getting NOTHING as a gift]

however, let's just forget it because.. let's face the fact.
no matter how hard i wish that this Thursday morning i would go to school, sit at my seat and put my books inside my drawer and found that there are chocolates for me. and then i would look around and search for the mystery person/people who generously gave me those chocolates but i failed to find him [it's not gonna be a 'her'], it will never come true.

OHH what an imagination.
so i'm just gonna buy chocolates and eat it on Thursday morning during classes and imma just pretend that it was given by someone else.

*forever-alone faced*

just for an update and a point of information,

Origins of Valentine's Day: A Pagan Festival in February

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial--which probably occurred around A.D. 270--others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat's hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.

but just like what i've said before, by receiving gifts on 14th February, that doesn't mean i am celebrating Valentine's Day. because the fact is, i am not celebrating it.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Saturday, February 9, 2013
lessons for today - egotistical is good.

the matter has been settled.
let's just hope that in the future i won't be seeing people sheding tears because of me anymore.
at first i found that it was amusing. very amusing.
but that amusement then turned into pity.
that feeling of pity helped me to forgive.

so what are lessons for my dear children for today?

1. Keep calm in provoking situations [I know it's easier said than done but if you did not stay calm, you're gonna lose yourself, and people will think that you're very very pathetic].

2. Stay polite but SARCASTICALLY.

3. Show them a big victorious grin on your freaking face.

4. Be confident and plant that ego inside you.
when i know that i am right, my ego is bigger than it already is.
i can't and won't deny that.
punish me, torture me, i still won't admit that i am wrong if i knew that i am right.
i know, this kind of attitude is not good but that's just me.
so what? so sue me.

people always say "Be yourself".
so don't complain when i am being myself.
nobody is going to be me and i am not going to be anybody.

i am still talking about me because this blog is all about me and my life.
yes, i am the main character of this lame novel.
but a main character is still a main character, right?
and a main character got to do what a main character got to do.
that is, to not be such a loser.

dear losers, stop being such a loser and stand firm with your thinking [except if it's apparent that you're wrong, and you knew that you're wrong, then you need to confront the problem and be right again].

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, February 4, 2013
you are the one who started it first. WHY BLAME ME?!

i need to tell this story that happened in my life today real quick since i have lots of homeworks to do.
i'm going to be real OPEN here because i'm gonna retell the REAL story of what actually happened.

it all started when somebody started posting on Facebook and Twitter about Scout 04.
i told her off once POLITELY because it was [and it IS] so annoying for her to keep on babbling ONLINE about it non-stop.
i seriously thought if i reply one of her tweets, she'll stop posting it on Twitter and say it face-to-face instead.

but i was proven wrong.
she wouldn't stop doing that kind of cowardly action. and she didn't.

FYI, nobody told her to do those works. if she's UNWILLING to do it, she can tell me to do it instead.
since she is so WILLING to do it, then i let her be.
but she was talking about it like she's someone important, it's like she wanted to tell us that without her, none of those camps will work. it's like she's the only person who can do it right.

"kalau saya tdk urus nikn smua tdk dpt pg. puas hati !"
this time, i was right. she was trying to say that without her, none of those camps will work.

i am seriously sick of her complaining.
however, i stayed SILENT.
until i reached my limit when she even posted it on Facebook.

and she didn't stop.

i was like, "Seriously?! NOBODY told her to do those things. She and her 'cute' bestfriend yang pandai2 mau pigi urus. If you want to do my work, I'll let you but don't COMPLAIN."

so i posted a single status on Facebook about it.
:) only one status.
and it is a status of OPINION. facts. the truth. the reality. not more than that.

this morning, while i was about to eat my breakfast in the classroom, both of them were looking for me.
"Mana si Feo?". so i went to confront them and this Nur Izatty's bestfriend said with an arrogant face "Ikut kami" and walked away.
i was still holding my food and that is one of the factors why i tend to get angry easily.
i said, "Sa tida mau. Buat apa sa mau ikut cakap kamu?"
like seriously. who are they to COMMAND me like that? who are they in my life?

that was where all of it started.
that Nur Izatty's bestfriend was the one who started it [should i mention her name here? i don't think i need to because even if i did, no one will even recognize her. she's just a not famous little cutey girl who only knew how to bark but do not know how to bite.]
she was angry at me for posting a single status on Facebook.
HAHA. only a single status of mine can drive them crazy. 
i can't help but feel so honoured.

Me : Jadi ko mau sa padam tu status? Sorry la ah. Siapa yg deluan post di FB. Bukan kau ka?
Nur Izatty : Tapi saya tidak kasi ketara.
Me : Saya main depan2, bukan main belakang macam kau.

and then she stayed silent, glaring at my face like she was about to cry.
i was about to laugh.

and then that Nur Izatty's bestfriend was the one who did the talking most of the time.
all she said was nothing but RUBBISH.
i forgot most of the things that she said because she did NOT even have any point. at all.
both of them looked so pathetic, i can't help but laugh. yes, i laughed while they were talking.

and that Nur Izatty's bestfriend kept on looking at me from the top of my head until my shoes.
if only you can look at her face during that time, you'll feel like you just saw a sorcery of someone's face.
HAHAHA. sorry, i got carried away. but that's a fact. that's my opinion when she stared at me ARROGANTLY and without any POLITENESS.

i should admit that during that time, my hands were shaking because i was too consumed with anger.
BOTH OF THEM PROVOKED ME. yes, they provoked me.
if i have lost all control and act CHILDISH like them, i would long ago throw my food on their faces.
but thankfully, even if they provoked me, i managed to control myself.
only that i got too carried away that i let the main point went off and argued about the other stuffs.

for example, Nur Izatty's bestfriend said with an angry tone, "Sa tau la ko tu pandai. Kelas Science Stream."
yes, what the heck, right? that doesn't even relate to the main point.
but i got too carried away that i said, "Ya sa memang pandai. Tengkiu la puji sa :)"
i should've said that it was off the topic and she was only being jealous of me for being able to get into Science Stream class.

from that, it gets to the point where i was about to lose control when Nur Izatty's bestfriend said that I didn't do the WORKSHEETS for last year's CAMPING.
she said that camping did not happen because of ME. i was delaying my work.
she said that all of it was MY FAULT.


i was about to scream. if i'm not mistaken, i did scream a bit.
but both of them are too stupid that i doubt if they even understand what i was saying.

you can ask my classmates. i did it with my own money, my own time, my own transport.
i was forced to put my dad into trouble by sending me to the shop to print all of those worksheets.
I SENT IT early of the year. only the teacher assigned to guide us did not check the worksheets first.
she sent it to KK without checking it.
if she did check it, then why she didn't correct the worksheets and tell me what's wrong first, right?

come on, it was my FIRST time. and that was without anybody's guidance i did those worksheets.
i still have those 100++ rejected worksheets with me. but i still RE-DO it DILIGENTLY.
i was given the wrong format letter. when i went to ask curriculum coordinator, only then he gave me the things required for a complete worksheet.
but it was too late already.


you can even read my post during last year about this.

i was fuelled with anger that i was unable to think properly.
why did they mention about last year?
their purpose was, they were trying to say that I am NOT worth my POSITION as the official SECRETARY of SCOUT 04 2013.
they are trying to say that they are the ones who deserve to get the higher position.
they even wanted to meet up with the previous leader of Scout 04 to discuss about this matter.
they are trying to take my position.

it was NOT my fault that the camping was not working even if i gave my best efforts.

they began naming the camps that worked and saying that it was all thanks to them.
they were trying to say that without them, the camps were not gonna work and it was proven when last year's camping did not work because i was the one who was assigned to do it.

seriously, i did not care if they want to do my works.
it helps me a lot since i've got tons of things to do other than that.
but the way they were saying it, it was like we FORCED them to do it.
it was like we were the one who told them to do it.
we did not.

and then this Nur Izatty's bestfriend kept on provoking me to get mad.
she said, "Jadi kenapa lah kalau kau marah?".
she provoked me.

she asked Anis, "Apa alasan kau ada jawatan? Saya ada jawatan bah".
setakat BENDAHARI [Treasurer], apa la sangat tu.
Anis did not have any position in the organization anymore because she gave it to someone else because she knew her place, unlike both of you.

Nur Izatty's bestfriend then asked Anis, "Mana si Neneng?! Mana si Neneng?!"
Neneng is our leader. yet she treated him like she has the higher position than him.
she is stepping on his head.

even if we are in the same age, you should at least respect your leader, right?
you should show your politeness towards those who have bigger authorities than you.
you are nothing but a mere treasurer bah. your work was to organize the money of the uniform association.
nothing more than that. you don't have the rights to talk that way.
and the other one is only the discipline leader.

they are the one who started it.
i did not start it first, you can all see it from A to Z.
they are the one who posted on Twitter and Facebook and then when i posted a single status, they went to my classroom to search for me as if i will be scared of them.

Me : Punya kebudak-budakan kamu ni.
Nur Izatty's Bestfriend : Jadi kenapa lah? Kau tu matang sangat?

i am not that mature, but at least i can think better than you.

and the most childish thing was, both of them walked away from me.
Nur Izatty's bestfriend screamed "BETINA!" towards me.
lol. HAHA how childish was that?

i was too angry that i was unable to think properly bah. that's why i was about to get childish like them.
thankfully, i did not.

let's see what tomorrow will bring.
i better do beneficial things than wasting my time on some homo sapiens who don't have the ability to use their brain and think properly.
that's what we call BRAINLESS.

again, i am going to re-emphasize that all i said was nothing but the truth.

just for an addition, i found one word that describes both of them the best.
that is, STUPID.



Lacking intelligence or common sense.
A stupid person (often used as a term of address): "you're not a coward, stupid!".
adjective.  foolish - dull - obtuse - dense - fatuous - idiotic
noun.  fool - goof - tomfool - booby - dolt - imbecile

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, February 3, 2013
i am sinful

i'm sick of the advertisements on my ChatBox!
i need a real human! a real opinion! urghtttttt.

* * *

i don't know whether i've been trapped or it is me trapping myself.
is this my downfall?

me who once stand firm in this. 
i don't know what to say more.

i didn't go to pray today.
i feel sinful and it's like i'm worthless, i will still be no good, not better, never being able to satisfy myself.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-