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Wednesday, March 27, 2013
there will be no PMR for next year.

i was happy yesterday :D

usually when i'm bored, i will play games on Facebook.
when i want to rant about something in a faster way, i would tweet tons of it on Twitter.
but now i have neither of them anymore.
i feel so bored.....

i shouldn't study 24 hours a day, right?
i need to relax too but there's nothing i can do to relax my mind.
jog? oh i'm too lazy. 

by the freaking way, during last week's Physical Education, i weighed myself and found out that i was 46KG!! 
*shrieking with joy until tears came out*
after that, i ate lots of things and now i don't know i am forty-what KG already.
stop talking about weight.

i feel like crying because i want to live my life but currently i can't.
i need to wait until next year to live my life to the fullest.
a sad life of SPM candidate.

i still think that PMR shouldn't be banished.
i think UPSR is the examination that should be banished.
it's easy to see why. it's because with PMR results, the school can easily determine your range academic performance. they will know until what level your intelligence is, so they will put you whether in Science stream or Accounting stream or other classes in Form Four.

but with UPSR results, what can you do about it?
i mean, of course to get into MRSM, it requires UPSR results. but the same goes with PMR results.
there are advertisements saying that you can work if you have "Kelulusan PMR".
i doubt there are ever advertisements saying that you can work if you have "Kelulusan UPSR".

so for those kids who feel very happy and boast around about their 5As UPSR, you're absolutely pathetic. that's not even the beginning yet.
PMR is before the beginning because like i've said, it determines which stream you will get in.
SPM is the beginning of your life success because it determines which university or college you can get into, and also whether you can have scholarship to study overseas or not.

that is why, PMR should not be banished but instead, UPSR should be banished.
why am i talking about this, i don't know.
maybe it's because i'm pissed off looking at those kids boasting around about their 5As on UPSR.

i do not agree with the PBS System too.
as a student, i am just stating my opinions.

i just read on The Star Online about a parent worrying about the PBS System.

"I AM a parent of a Form One child. Last year, my son got 5A’s in the UPSR exam and being in a streamed secondary school, he is now in the first class with those with the same results as him.
The Education Ministry started the PBS (Penilaian Berasaskan Sekolah) early this year and parents were briefed on the process of teaching and learning using the PBS.
Students will be assessed from time to time for all subjects and will be given grades according to Band One to Band Six throughout the year.
I was told that students in Form One will not be sitting for any exams up to Form Three. The problem is, parents need to know his or her child’s progress in school.
Under the old system, parents would be called to the school at least twice a year, after the mid-year exam and also after the final exam.
Parents of children in the other forms can check their children’s progress through the SAPS but not the Form One students.
Having no year-end exam under the PBS system has made many of the children unproductive and the PBS has created a non-challenging environment among them.
I am not against the PBS system, but can we do away with having no exams at all?
I thought the PBS system is an ongoing process where the children will be graded into the bands after each topic or each syllabus has been completed and the grades will be accumulated into 60% of the child’s performance for the year.The other 40% would be taken from the exams in school. This way, no child will be left out.
I checked out a few schools and to my dismay, some schools are having exams just like before and some schools, as I was told, are following the directive of the ministry and there are no exams for Form One.
I asked a senior assistant in a school and he said that if they had the exams it meant they were not following the ministry’s orders. This means that the school is going against the ministry’s directive.
I just wonder how the system is like in Sekolah Berasrama Penuh (SBP) – fully residential schools – or in MRSM; I bet they have their own exams unlike the children in government schools.
Most international schools have the system that I have mentioned.
I understand that the Education Ministry is coming up with many plans under the Pelan Pembangunan Pendidikan Malaysia (PPPM).
Upon checking my son’s schoolwork, I found there was no homework and there were not many exercises done in class.
I understand that teachers spend a lot of time doing the PBS exercises in class and updating the student’s grades, the grades which are unknown to the parents.
What is the rationale of not having a standardised exam but giving students a standardised set of PBS worksheet/tests/quiz, and so forth?
If a good student can complete a task easily and the other students can’t, then they are given time to complete the work.
What then will happen to the good student?
Is he or she allowed to go to the next band?
I can’t imagine they are going to be in this situation for two more years up till Form Three.
Principals and teachers could not explain what is to become of Form One students when they are in Form Three, when there will be no exams.
If there is no PMR, how would the students be chosen for SBP or MRSM?
How are the students being streamed into Science, Arts or Technical classes?
There are so many unanswered questions.
But in the meantime, please have the 60% and 40% system as the good students need to explore their potential and the slower ones will not be left out.

oh i could not agree more with what that worried parent stated because that is what i've been saying this whole time.
of course, the purpose of PBS System is to show that Malaysia's level of education is not based on examinations only.
but the education of the newer generations should not be experimented.
can you give me the guarantee that the PBS System will create a healthy competition environment and thus will enhance students' academic performance that is not based on examinations only?
i doubt so. i really doubt so.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, March 25, 2013
too young, too dumb to realize.

i don't have a Facebook or a Twitter already.
well, technically, i have them but i deactivated them.
i know that my hands will 'accidentally' Log In my Facebook account or Sign In my Twitter account.
in the end, i took a desperate measure.

i asked for help from someone to change my Facebook and Twitter password.
a password that i will never know until i finish taking all my SPM papers.
and it worked. i mean, i admit that i 'accidentally' typed "facebook.com" on my browser this morning but i stopped because i don't know the password.

i decided to not socialize much.

i've got the feeling that i will fail. especially in Mathematics and Additional Mathematics.
i'm still thinking whether i should take a tuition for Physics or not.
but the time for me to sleep is very precious.
in addition, i'm taking 11 subjects, including Visual Arts Education.

i don't hope for straight As because i know it is very impossible for me.
but i aim for 5 As. 5 As is enough and i will not ask for more because i know that i can only achieve that much.

i love the night sky
where the cold grips my bones tightly.
i love midnight
where fireflies are dancing freely in the dark.
i love the twilight
where the sky turns into cloudy purple with stars.
i love the fog that fills up my lungs
it gave me the chill of inspiration somehow.
i want to be sitting near a lake during the nightfall
and watch a star died and fall.
i want to wake up until the sunrise
until the fire finished eating the woods.
but i hate the daylight
when cars honk loudly as if the road is theirs
i hate the daylight
when nothing is peaceful
only noise fills the air.
i noticed just by now
that i could become a poet.
originally by Feodora Grace

we should not give up on something that is very precious to us.
we should not easily say "I'm done, I will stop trying".

everything, everyone that is around us is not gonna stay permanently in your life.
one day they will go unwillingly or willingly.
so treasure them just like you treasure yourself.
don't take them for granted for they will not stay much longer.
time flies fast.

you should've gave me flowers.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

my hardworks are finally worth it! :D

okay, i admit that i was very rude to someone who did not deserve it.
i did apologize for being rude but my ego dominates my brain.
in the end, i talked with a rude tone, in a very rude way and of course nobody would be able to stand it.
and now i'm feeling guilty URGHHTTTT.

okay i'm quite childish sometimes.
i will learn to control my ego and i will not let it overwhelm me next time.

by the way, i'm on my one week holiday and still, i haven't done anything that is capable of satisfying me yet.
and, oooopss, i haven't told you about the result of the Parliamentary Debate Competition the other day.

 the competition was held on 19th March 2013.
our teacher told us that we must be at school at 6 o'clock in the morning since we're going to SMK Sook at 6.30 AM.

in the end, i went earlier than i intended to.
as i arrived, i noticed that it was still dark, quiet and scary. 
the securities were scary too.

[i don't know what time this picture was taken. 5.40++ AM maybe]

[but i like this scenery]

on our way to SMK Sook....

[Abigail and Julian]

[Khairi and Naventhan]

[my mother's coat was too big for me so my teacher lend me her coat instead]

[i haven't mentioned that our teachers were with us in the bus]

[Naventhan looked so emo with that sunrise]

[the fog was getting thicker and it was getting colder]

we were the first school to arrive.
for the first motion which was "Electronic gadgets enhance students' academic performance", we were the government team and SMKKII was the opposition team.

at first it was very intimidating but when your opponents have already talked, it's like you're on rage or something and your ideas come flowing out.

[during the first motion]

after a lot of hardworks, we went through the Semi-final Round and we were going to the Final Round.

[this was during we were in the Quarantine Room]

[we still got the time to capture pictures and our faces looked very tan]

for the Final Round, the motion was "Friendship is the most important relationship in life" and we were the government team, again, and College Vocational was the opposition team.
we really thought that we were losing.
when the Miss Speaker announced that "The motion is accepted by the house", there was no response.
because i seriously thought that she was gonna say "Accepted NOT".
only after she said, "Accepted lah", we cheered like hell.

all my hardworks and time and money are finally worth it! :D

[SM SFX, SMK Sook, and College Vocational]
[this is a cute purple notebook given by SMK Sook :) they even sponsored us foods and drinks, unlike the school that hosted the competition last year!]

i told my teacher that i don't want to join the competition anymore since i am seriously getting more dumb and SPM is coming soon and i can see that i am failing.
but i can't forfeit.
so i'm gonna work harder because i know that the teams that we're going to face soon are very much stronger than us.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, March 18, 2013
i got my own reasons in everything that i do or say.

ladies and gentlemen,
tomorrow is ......

i don't have the confidence that we will get the first place but i do hope that we will get into the Top 3.
i don't have any experience as the third speaker because last year i was the first speaker but i will try my best!
we will be competing at SMK Sook.
i am such a pititful human being as i never went to Sook before.

i haven't memorized my scripts yet, UGHH i don't know.
why am i prone to procrastinating nowadays?

to change the subject,

when i am alone, that doesn't mean that i am lonely.
sometimes i just prefer being alone because that saves me from troubles.

this year, unfortunately, i don't believe in friends anymore.
i' got my own reasons in everything that i do or say.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Saturday, March 16, 2013
i am terribly exhausted.

hello my name is Feodora Grace and i am terribly miserably EXHAUSTED.
i went to school just now to do the debate scripts with our second speaker and our English teacher.
the other one couldn't come because he is sick.

i am too confused editing eight scripts overall that i feel like dying.
plus, i have a flu and it's getting worse because i feel dizzy every time.
i just got back home and now i am going to reedit it once again.
i am going to print them on Monday and the competition will be on Tuesday.

how can we achieve our goal without lots of efforts, right?
but there were some times when i put lots of my efforts into something but ended up acheiving nothing but disappointment.
i really hope this time i won't be that disappointed.

[this is during the mock debate session with two of our seniors who are currently waiting for their SPM results]

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Tuesday, March 12, 2013
stop hoping, it's not gonna happen.

i am taking Biology and Physics papers tomorrow.
i just got back home from school and i deserve nothing but a little rest!

i am angry with myself that i have the craving to watch movies only during examinations.
during holidays, i don't feel like doing anything, but i feel like studying instead.
oh how i hate this life.

some people are born to be evil.
they will not feel guilty for hurting others just so that they will feel better.
they think that it is not wrong to take someone for granted.

"karma" is not just a belief for Buddha.
for me, "karma" is just a simplified word for "what you reap is what you sow".
nothing religious in that.

you can ask for my opinions.
however, you should not ever thought of changing my opinions to be exactly like yours.
trust me, it's not gonna happen.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Saturday, March 9, 2013
"Anything happens, happened" ?

i've been busy preparing for the upcoming Parliamentary English Debate competition.
worst part? i haven't revised anything yet for the upcoming March Test and that'll be on next week.

i've got tons of things to do before Semester II and i might get crazy.
despite that, i still watch movies at night and didn't even revise on chapters of Form 4.

they say enjoy your last year of high school because one day you will miss it.
i admit it, that i will miss it one day but life must go on, right?
i mean, if you look foward to the future and then you're in the future. that is called moving on.
but if you're in the present, and you never look foward to the future, what will be the goal of your life?
"Anything happens, happened"
oh, really? just simply like that?

to change the subject,
you know, there are some certain situations where most people will not get it.
not everyone feels what you feel and not everyone thinks what you think.
for you, it might be like a fairytale. but as for them, it is just a plain movie and nonsense.

life is hard.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, March 3, 2013
a lot of events just in two weeks.

wink wink wink and then it's March 2013 already, isn't it?

citizens of Malaysia are now fussing over the incident of Sultanate Sulu and his followers claiming Sabah as theirs. they even say something like "Why we should leave Sabah? Sabah is our home".
i am a bit pissed off because they contribute NOTHING in Sabah except making a lot of mess here.
research shows that 1020 out of 1300 prisoners in Sabah are foreign prisoners.
no doubt, they are the largest contributor to crime in Malaysia.
as for their foods and drinks in prison, the government has spent about 500 million a year in Malaysia.
to think that that big sum of money can be used for something more beneficial for the citizens.

plus, if the Sultanate Sulu isn't able to overcome the poverty in their own country, why bother claiming Sabah?
point is, if you can't rule properly, step back.
use your common sense. Malaysia can help Sabah more than you can.
if you're claiming Sabah just to make us live in poverty, then please step back and never return here again.

we, the Sabahans, should be given every rights to choose which country we want to be in.
the choice is ours and not others.
as for me, i'd rather continue being a Malaysian than being a Filipino.

think about the BR1M. free laptops and such other things for the citizens here in Malaysia.
would Sultanate Sulu be able to give Sabahans all those things?
i really doubt so.
but don't get me wrong. i'm NOT a pro-government.

1st March 2013 - a great way to start a new month for Sabahans.

anyway, a lot of interesting events happened a few days ago.
firstly, our class [which is 5 Emerald] had an early birthday party for six people which are Rosana, Asmah, Firdaus, Herry, Brayn, Ashrul.
but that doesn't mean i celebrate it together with them. before that event start, we were given a quick test for Mathematics by our beloved classroom teacher.

23rd February 2013 :

[the cakes]

[from left to right : Rachel, Rosana, Jacqueen]

[boys from left : Brayn, Firdaus, Fadli
girls from left : Shima, Amirah]




i was busy with guitar so i forgot to check my phone because i was texting with Anis.
i felt guilty [and still am now] for leaving her waiting.
and then.......

[Anis is in the house! :D ]

though a thousand words of sorry will not make it.

26th February 2013 :

skip all those unnecessary details, Shima then gave me this!

she made this cake herself.
oh i just love her.

i thought it was just a sponge cake until...

[a thick layer of cheese]

then our beloved classroom teacher came during recess and gave me this,

[eleven cupcakes made by the teacher herself too!]


but that still doesn't mean that i celebrate birthday.

other than that, the good news is, i have eight newborn puppies!
although none of them has a thick fur but there are two puppies who look a lot like a bear! :D

[Bear 1 and Bear 2]

28th February 2013 : 

the PRS [Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya] of SM SFX went to visit Mini Clinic Cure & Care 1Malaysia.

[as you can see, we're in a bus]

[i never fail to capture a candid one]

[Anis and Amirah]

[yes, it is an anti-drug mini clinic]

at first i thought it was gonna be boring but then it became interesting as we get to listen to interesting stories by the seniors who have stopped using drugs.
i learned the new term "pusher" that day. pity me.

[from left to right : Elsa and Judith]


we were the first school to visit that place and actually i just knew that that place actually exist in Keningau.
they were so nice for even inviting us to drink and eat by their own budget.
they even put up a canopy for us and such things.

skip all the unnecessary details,
all of those who're in process of curing present to us a song that was composed by them themselves.
i can't deny that they have good guitarists [the acoustic guitar was nice] and the one who's in black shirt infront had a very nice vocal.

2nd March 2013 :

our school held a drama competition for all Form 5 classes on 2nd March 2013.
after done with our presentation of drama theatre, they played with makeups!

[victim : Ashrul]

[victim : Shahrul]

[HAHAHAHHAAH!!! cant help but laugh at this picture]

[victim : Brayn]

[not wanting to wear a veil]

[but finally he wore one]

[the crew who're responsible in turning Ashrul into a........]

[he looked like Minnie, Mickey's girlfriend]

[Ashrul with Ming]

[cutest girl in our classroom ♥ ]

[Amirah getting her eyes done]

[Asmah also getting her eyes done!]

[the cameragirl finally got to take a picture of herself]

[from left to right : Amirah, Shima, Ray]

[beautiful ladies]

[Shahrul and Debbie]

[Debbie and Brayn]

[sleepy Fadli]

[caption : "Bang~ mari la bang~ jom bang?"]

[only got to capture half of Daus's face]

i'd be hoping [absolutely not expecting] a lot of interesting events in the future.
may Sabah still be in Malaysia [so that one day Sabah can stand on its own].
and may all the students be grateful of what we were given. other people might not have it.
may the days of laughter come ahead of me.
and may i be happy.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-