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Thursday, November 28, 2013
i am so not me right now.

today there are good things and bad things that happened.
the good things that happened are very much indeed good,
however the bad things that happened are beyond my expectation.

i feel so emotional right now but i don't care.

people thought it is so easy when the things that we planned didn't go in the right way.
i don't know why i'm getting more vulnerable but i don't plan to be fragile.
i think it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes.
sometimes we don't need to act strong when we are actually not.

oh this is getting so emotional!

i don't know, there are so many confusing things.
you don't know how to decide and you just want to sleep all day long.
yes, i feel like sleeping right now even though i am not sleepy because i am super exhausted with all those demands!
i mean, actually we're the one who'll get nothing in return.

in addition, when you're being nice to people and they're being mean to you, it is not pleasant.
usually i'll get mad and call them stupid farts. but then right now, i just feel so emotional.

is this because of PMS?
i hope this PMS will be over soon.
i am so not me right now.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
i am getting more socially awkward.

so i finished my Biology paper today.

i knew that i'd only be enjoying my time for 1 week and then comes EST paper.
most people asked, "What is EST?" "Why our school didn't introduce that paper?"
well, EST stands for English for Science and Technology.
you don't need a textbook. you just need a freaking common sense and English.
considering that my grammar is getting worse, i'm gonna start to read books again!
[which is another "YAYY!"]

however, i don't know why but my heart feels heavy right now.
very very heavy.
it's like there's something that i should do but i didn't do today.
i couldn't relax myself.
is it because i knew that EST is coming on next week's Thursday?
or is it something else?

urghtttt! i don't know!
i am supposed to feel damn light and free right now but something just doesn't feel right.

i actually LOVE the life without Facebook. i do.
but on the bright side, i knew that it is important for me to activate my FB Acc so that i can be up to date to important things.
i just hate those unnecessary dramas and fights on FB.
it is such an eyesore.
i hate to see people who emit negate aura 'cause i'm afraid that i'll get infected.

since i've been officially away from FB for almost a year, i am getting socially awkward.
i can't stand recalling how unashamed i was for posting unnecessary statuses.
tonight i am gonna activate my FB Acc again [as i promised] and i am gonna try to post a status and see how i will feel.

i don't know what's wrong with me.

anyway, tonight i will do a marathon on new episodes of RM that i have missed, and have a sleep.
let's hope that will be ok.
[i don't hope that things will go according to what i have planned because good things will never happen to me]

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, November 25, 2013
all predicted questions are actually leaked questions *sarcasm*

ugly truth when i found out that those three little reporters are actually girls.
lol. but screw that. i don't care.

okay so that's what they believed in.
they thought eeeeeeeeevery single predicted question that really came out in SPM is leaked.
it's like when you got the target right, then that must be because you're cheating.

if we cannot predict questions, after all, then why didn't the government ban it?

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, November 24, 2013
i don't want to retake Add Maths and Maths papers!!

i am pissed off.

at first i tried to ignore it but then i saw the possibility that WE ALL are going to retake those Mathematics and Additional Mathematics papers.
why? because there are these three individuals who were so brutally honest that they can't stand to shut their mouth up.
i bet they love the public attention and that's one of the reasons why they reported and tried so hard to prove that AddMaths and Maths papers were leaked.

you guys really love having your names on the local papers, don't you?
i bet now all the girls are after you because you are those perfect guys that are very very honest.
wahhhh, your parents are praising you for being honest too.
now you all can get $$ and WE ALL are at the risk of retaking papers.

it's not that i am confident that i'll get an A for both of the subjects.
it's just that it is a freaking hassle to retake those papers 'cause my THREE MONTHS holiday that i've been dreaming of is going to be crushed into pieces.

come on la, only students who went to that seminar got those so-called leaked questions [which is only the MINORITY of students out of WHOLE Malaysia].
what about US who don't get those leaked questions?
do we deserve to get all the consequences?
the answer is a big fat freaking NO.

if it's the bigger authority's fault for not securing those question papers tightly and carefully ['cause if they did, then how can questions reported to leak?], why should we, the students, should clean up those mess by retaking papers?

i'm glad it's only on investigation.
i really hope we will NOT HAVE to retake papers.
what's done is done. past is past. move on.
even if i get a C or a B, i don't care as long as i don't have to retake those papers.

some students are so eager to retake those papers because they made mistakes in answering AddMaths Paper 2.
but please do consider those who do not want to retake those papers [including me!].

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-


'cause when i got mad, this song like calms me down and made me laugh.

not a good habit, i know.
but it sucks when you get heavily accused for something that you didn't do.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
not a good feeling but too busy to even care.

when you've faced bigger problems in life, you will eventually forgot about the smallest ones.
likewise, when you have something better and important to do, you will eventually forgot to do meaningless ones.

i actually don't know what i'm trying to say right now but i just want to clarify here that those smallest actions that people tried to do to get some attention will never be noticed by me.
sure, i noticed some but the rest are like pieces of junk, waiting to be crushed, crumbled, and thrown into the dustbin.

but yeah, you've got to admit that the feeling of being unfollowed [whether on Twitter, Blogger, Tumblr, & etc] especially by humans whom you treated kindly and friendly since the beginning is really not a good feeling.
makes you wonder what you did that insulted them so much.
thinking that they shouldn't have had followed you in the first place if they want to unfollow by the end of the day.
and then makes you conclude that you're too awesome to even give a freaking damn.
makes you think about the big exam tomorrow.
and the human-killing paper : Additional Mathematics.

so yeah, life goes on.

hence, going to change all my "About Me" section with caption below ;
Dear unfollowers, you guys suck so suck your own suckity face 'cause you are so sucking suck.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

only then, i will seek for the true meaning of life.

two torturing weeks left and then i'm gonna do just like this,

how i wish somebody could take me to a place like that at the very late night after my last paper.
a place where i can just pretend that i'm flying.
a place where i can pretend that i am free from the cage.
a place where i can scream at the top of my lungs until i'm satisfied.
a place where there are no judgemental people around.

however, a dream is just gonna be a dream.
it ain't coming true because nothing ever comes easy in my life.
everything that i wanted, i have to get through hell before acheiving it and before grasping it in my hands.

i think i just don't care anymore.
about the future.
i think i will stop thinking about the future and start planning only when the right time comes.
only if there is ever a perfect time for something.
i'd probably be lost for eternity in a wonderland that never even existed in the first place.

everything that i hoped for, that i dreamed for, turned out to be just a plain hallucination.
therefore, i stopped believing that good things will come ever come true.
in my life, nothing good ever happened.

think about a big circle and 90% of the circle is filled with bad things, while the 10% is filled with empty hopes and dreams.
that's how my life looks like. a big freaking circle that goes round and around and around.
same cycle for every phase.

well, yeah that's my pointless life.
like it or not, i've got to live it, right?
i've still got to believe that there is really more to life than just lingering here, right?

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Sunday, November 17, 2013
daily rants that you shouldn't read 'cause it's plain boring.

having a place for people to hangout just beside your house is not so fun.
sure, there are some advantages

DARN! a big freaking spider just flew near my face and i ran like hell and now i can't seem to locate its whereabouts.
if there is, then that person must be freakingly insane, as if there are no other animals to love.
i hate spiders [especially those that bites] because they are gross, disgusting-faced, their body structure is torturing, the fact that they can easily use their 'rope' to run, and they have poisonous venom that can cause fatal.
hence, whenever i see them from afar, i would grab a nearest dictionary and slam them.
the cleaning job? no need to clean, wait for the ants to do the job for you.
but 5 minutes ago i was defenceless [without a dictionary] so all there's to do is scream hysterically like a madman who just escaped from a psycho hospital and run like there's no tomorrow.

anyway, continue to what i was talking about earlier,
the disadvantages are more than the advantages.

number one, you don't have PRIVACY.
don't care whether it is 7AM or 8AM or 9AM++ or even when you're having your own time to sleep and relax, there comes a non-stop knocking on the door with an extra screaming of "Kak!" or "Auntyy!" or "Al!".
realising that it was my fault for not taping a "CLOSE : DISTURB AND DIE" notice on the door, i forced myself to open the door and 'enjoy' their 'beautiful' voices of laughters and screams.
ohh like voices of angels from heaven. this is sarcasm.
then there i go, can't sleep, can't relax, can't study, no privacy.

number two, your house suddenly becomes a place for them to HANGOUT.
they should understand that this is afterall, someone else's house that they should BEHAVE.
but they don't have the common sense where you shouldn't be THROWING your cigarette sticks all over someone's house!
come on, there's a freaking big trash can infront of them la, near the gate.
people like these are very unabashed oh.
so they think if they pay RM2.50 per hour, then they can do whatever they want here la? they can consider this place is for them to smoke and throw cigarette sticks and spit everywhere la?
DON'T pay at all and don't even come bah.

number three, everything in this house is in DANGER or HARMED.
there are lots of things stolen. speakers, pendrive, MY freaking SHOES, and etc.
i don't even understand how they [the people suspected to steal] are very thick-faced even though we were kind to them to begin with.
adding extra minutes because their faces are so sad and they come from far far far away just to play here.
never thought they'd come to steal.

i also tried not to recall this because it'll only awaken my buried rage inside.
but there's this one customer who always bullied my little brother.
two years ago, he broke my little brother's tooth and other things that i didn't know about [that my lil brother didn't want to tell 'cause he didn't want to look lame]. hence, when i knew the story, i got mad and yelled at him. told him that he's "kurang ajar" and told him to never come again.
3 weeks later after that, he came back again to play computer. duh =_=.

last year, he did something that i did not want to recall 'cause it will only make me angry right now!
should i just let it be? NO. because stupid person like this should learn a lesson.

this year, just a few months ago, he threw my little brother's "keropok durian" all over my lil brother's head.
as soon as my lil bro came in and told me that, i screamed at that customer.
good thing lah, he didn't come for 5 months after that. who cares? i absolutely don't.

however, recently he came and behaved himself well oh :D
he didn't scream or laugh out loud during playing those computer games.
most of all, he never did bother my lil bro again. HAHA.
good. 'cause if he didn't behave this time, i'd shoo him out.

next, my PUPPIES.
[yes, i love dogs and puppies]
people who came here often tried to harm my innocent puppies!
my puppies did nothing wrong to them but then there's this one customer who lives nearby just harmed one of my puppies.
seriously, he grabbed the puppy and slammed the puppy!!
obviously my puppy cried out loud lah then everybody rushed out to the door.
i rushed out. and screamed at that stupid person ever on earth.
his excuse : "I was trying to give the puppy to my friend but my friend didn't catch it so it fell"
he said that while smiling.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh how that makes me angry.
"JANGAN PIGANG LANGSUNG. Kurang ajar. Ko fikir ini rumah kau ka mau buat begitu.... & etc."
good thing he didin't said anything in reply. i hope he's ashamed of his behaviour.
baru tingkatan 1 or so, suda mau merokok. buduh. ko fikir ko cool la? sampah masyarakat.

who says i shouldn't get mad at that stupid person?
then wait for my puppy to get abused until die baru mau menangis bising2 menyesal semua la?
i don't want that to happen so i don't care what people say. suck your own suckity face.
 if i didn't scream at him, he won't stop and he will just come to linger around this house and abuse the puppies.

next, my FREEDOM.
i can't wear things that i like, i can't do my hair.
these customers that are mostly MALE and they are PERVERT.
so i have to wear appropriate clothes all day long.
it's tiring 'cause it's so burdensome for me!

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Thursday, November 14, 2013

"Anak si anu mau tu anak anjing"
then we all screamed, "NO!!"

i don't care whether i am older than you, or the sad fact that i am actually your aunt.
as for that case, i will only think about my happiness and my puppies'. 
yes, i don't care being selfish because they are my puppies, not yours.
my very own rights, not yours.

tell me one good reason of why i should be freaking nice to you while i don't want to.
tell me one good freaking reason of why i should sacrifice my happiness [and my puppies'] for one spoiled niece whom i am not even close with.
why should i fake a smile and give my puppies to you and ended up crying hysterically in the middle of the night?
i really HATE feeling regretful and i don't want to regret anymore.
therefore, i don't care if i am not pleasing you because i don't live to please a rotten kid.

i am not selfish.
you are.

so yeah, sticks and stones can break my bones, but you CAN'T!
HAHA sucker.

change the topic!

THREE weeks left for my THREE months of freedom!
i just can't wait to finish high school 'cause i really really hate waking up at 5.25AM.
i can't wait to waste my time sleeping, eating, poo-ing, finish watching all seasons of Revenge and Desperate Housewives and do a marathon on Running Man, read mangas until i drop, watch sad movies, watch anime, and most of all play GAMES!

i'm absolutely easy to get addicted with games that i like.
thankfully i am able to hold the urge to play Japanese online games and become otaku and hikikomori.
i will never leave the house for one month!!

i was a die hard fan of animes before and it took me months to stop my crazy addictions!
all i need is to wait for three weeks.

three weeks seems like a long way to go but it'll come faster.


yes, currently i enjoy staying at home 'cause i've got tons of stuffs to do [anime anime anime anime game game game game movie movie movie movie].

okay, you guys go on and enjoy your one month holiday :D
be happy, laugh, enjoy your one month, and cry for having to go back to school.
[those who love waking up at 4AM just to go to school are insane]
whatever, just enjoy your one month because i'll be enjoying my life for THREE FREAKING MONTHS!


so yeah, little brother, go on and laugh at me right now and make me jelly because you guys don't have to think about school for one month.
i can't wait to laugh at you soon.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
nobody can take my puppies away from me!!

probably not a good time to blog 'cause my whole day has been disturbed by monsters and i really couldn't concentrate on studying at all!

seriously, stomping your feet off when i rejected your offer to swap one of my cutie pie puppies with yours?
okay, at first i was being very considerate and friendly and all... but not until you VIOLATE my rights!
sure, you're still a kid, but fact is, you're NOT a baby anymore and i am convinced that you can think by your own little brain cells.

seriously, if you want to visit, then visit but i was trying to freaking freak my freaky brain to study here and there you go screaming my name every 5 seconds.
when i went to you 'cause i thought it was important, in the end you just wanted to ask how to spell a freaking "GIRL" on YouTube.
the next time, you screamed my name again and asked how to spell "HOUSE".
at first, i was just okay because i was very kind and considerable.
[i even tried to clear of the thoughts shrouding my mind that you're actually in my house and i am not supposed to be the one who got BOSSED around. but since (again) you're a kid, i smiled and let it off]

i tried to make excuses of why you can't respect my own time to study.
however, i can't because other kids that i have met in my whole life always knew not to disturb someone who's studying.
for example, a little girl called Michelle. when i told her that my sister was studying but i will call her to come anyway, she quickly said, "Don't, let her study first".

i was about to boil when i was bathing and you're bringing your three puppies in to bathe them.
they smelled like poo that caused my hair to smell like poo.
the fact that you don't know how to bathe them.....just URGHT.
it's called animal abuse.

i was about to let it off but you left your puppies in the toilet and wash your hands and went to play computer without even bringing your puppies out from the house!
it's called IRRESPONSIBLE and you're slaving us.

i seriously never met......oh let's just not repeat it again.

i then let it be and lock myself upstairs so that nobody can disturb my time to study because you still called my name every freaking second just to ask for speakers that i'm using, the earphones, the spellings, and bla bla bla.
i was patient until there was a non-stop knock on the door.
i opened my door and there appeared her face.

guess what she said arrogantly?
"I want to swap my puppies with yours"
just that simple freaking sentence. 
she never questioned how i LOVE my puppies so freaking much.
how much WE love those puppies and how much we care for those puppies.

i said, "No. I don't want".
she STOMPED her feet while making a face that's about to cry and said "Aiyaaa!!".
i said "I don't want!"
then she just walked off downstairs while making bitchy face at me.

i mean, you should behave because it's not your house.
other kids always behave and they never asked for things that they are not offered because they know that they're in someone else's house, not theirs!

while we were cooking to feed them, she silently asked Lowong, "I want to swap my puppy with your black puppy".
Lowong said "No" and then she again said "Aiya" while stomping her feet.
very very determined to get someone else's beloved puppies.
is that a good thing? obviously not.
such spoiled kid.

skip all the parts that will only 'cause nothing but anger.

while they were about to leave [YAYYY!!] , she then asked my dad with a manipulating smile, "I want to swap puppies?".
my dad said, "Ambil saja".
then came me from afar screaming, "SAYA TIDAK MAU!"
her smile turned upside down and then said to her daddy, "I want that black one!!"
her daddy said, "You've got too much puppies already bah".
she replied, "No, swap! Swap one of my puppies with one of their puppies!"

seriously, without even considering my feelings and opinions, as the owner of my puppies.
without even looking at me to ask for my permission. she just wanted to snatch my puppies away from me.
yes, my puppies that i loved so much was about to get snatched away by a spoiled kid.
my puppies that i have watched growing up, that i always give all my love, was about to be grabbed by a rotten kid.

then my bitchy side came out.
i said out loud, "ISH SAYA TIDA MAU. TIDA MAU!!"

then her daddy put her puppies into their car [without disturbing mine] and left that kid standing there staring at me with a bitchy face that's about to cry.
then i was like, "HAHA. Suck your own face, kiddo. Now run to your momma".

she didn't even waved goodbye at me, only her little sister does.
i can't help but smiled with a bitchy face.

seriously, i really don't care whether you're younger than me or older than me.
i will fight for my love [the cutie puppies].

plus, you can't even treat your puppies right. how can i be sure that you will treat my puppies right?

and please, it's my house. i can do anything that i want, without even having to please you.
also, you should stop slaving people in their own house.

so yeah, suck your own face and cry to sleep tonight.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Friday, November 8, 2013
i need to eat chocolate cheesecakes to stay alive.


[why this picture is torturing me?????!!!!]

i'm sitting my SPM right now but my next paper is gonna be on 13th November.
yeah, yeah, i know.
i shouldn't waste my time lingering here but what can i do?!
i am just a human being. i need some rest too.

i feel sad though because cake shops here don't have delicious cakes!
[sorry to say but it's an HONEST opinion]
i mean like most of them are SPONGE cakes [which i hate the most] and the rest of them are out of my interest because they are all the same!
their cupcakes are plain SPONGEEEEEEEEEES too.
sure, the name of the cake shops might be cute, sweet, girlish, and the banner looks appetizing but as you snap back into reality, nah, they sucks.

can't resist.
gonna do a hunt later on.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-