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Saturday, December 28, 2013
a decision that will change my life forever.

i've been away from the blog for quite long this time, huh?
to be honest, i actually stayed at home most of the time and went to Tambunan for once in this month.
we had a Family Day on 26th December and wow i did not realize that today is 28th already.

[dancing is fun! :)]

[no need to be shy, just follow the music and dance.]

i actually enjoyed staying at home doing everything that i wanted to do before [during taking the examination].
today i went on YouTube to search for remedies that can actually get rid of these blackheads and whiteheads on my freaking face.

[she is orignially a male. just saying.]

so i did that "Toothpaste + Salt = Mask" and my face officially smelled like a toothpaste.
i actually felt stupid because my face felt so cold as the toothpaste was mint flavored.
much to my delight, it actually works! it made my skin smoother and blackheads to be gone.

as i am a human who can not easily get satisfied, i went on and search for other remedies.


[DIY mask!]

my friends actually laughed at me when i told them that when rice and turmeric are mashed together, they formed a perfect mask to prevent acne scars, pimples, and whiten your skin.
sure, the turmeric will make you look yellow for a while but actually after a few days, your face will become fairer.
even the protagonist in the movie "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" did the same!

my shoulder and neck hurt so badly right now!

as i grow older towards 18, i began thinking about my path of life.
when people ask me about what am i gonna do when i grow up, what i wanna be, which course would i take & etc, i really had no freaking idea on what to answer!
most of my aunts and uncles including parents and siblings suggested me different type of course that i should take.
i'm just like, "I don't know!".
yeah, sorry to disappoint you but right now i really don't know.

one of the reasons is because the actual SPM result isn't out yet.
so i can't judge my academic ability.
i don't want to put hopes on something that i am not guaranteed to get.
to be real honest, right now i think that my actual SPM result will be such a disappointment.
i want to tell everyone to stop expecting something high from me because in the end, you all will be disappointed.
i can't achieve your expectations, i know that.
that's why i keep my dreams down low.

i never thought decisions would be this hard.
even harder than a stone-headed statue. well, i'm trying to make a joke but it ain't funny.
i never thought that i would have 1000000000 choices to make.
it is all up to me whether i want to be a teacher, nurse, chef, housewife, preacher, waitress, or even a beggar.

all of these are so hard to mull, so i decided to stop thinking about it.
however, they said that i should make a goal earlier so that i will not stray away from my track.
i don't know, i'm still thinking.
all of them have their advantages and disadvantages, pros and cons, white and black, head and tail.

[this stage of life right now is way more different than in high school]

right now, i am grateful for everything that i have.
i really do think that hating is pointless so i am trying my best to stay out of it.

i don't want to be owed with someone.
i will work my ass off even during the ups and downs.
i don't want to rely on people.

OHHHHHH.
life is never this hard.
i have tons of unsolved problems in my mind.
my brain felt like bursting itself.

*sigh*



0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Saturday, December 14, 2013
time-lapse.

i forgot to express how delightful i am when the item that i ordered from Qoo10 had arrived at the perfect moment!


i've been waiting for two months for this!
technically, this item was shipped from Korea to China and then to Malaysia and the to ME!

i was about to lose hope back then because i really need this item for the upcoming event.
i asked at the local Post Office twice.
at the second time, they found my parcel!


this is actually the first time i ordered an item from overseas.
before this, i only dare to order items within Malaysia.

the good thing is that the shipping fee is free and the price of the item itself is cheap!
in addition, very much to my surprise, the quality is the exact same as in the pictures advertised!

i ordered this,

and it is the exact same with this,
[sorry, i'm too lazy to take appropriate picture of this]

overall, i am very much satisfied 'cause my $$ is worth it.
the local boutiques sell the uglier version of that PVC legging with the price of RM30++,
but for this cool one, it is only RM24.
i know, only beza RM6. but then, the important thing is that theirs [i mean the boutiques'] are ugly and mine is cool!
MUAHAHAHA.

as i was browsing through my camera, i found my old pictures.

[this is when we were visiting KVK]

sorry i'm not being 'sakai' but one must camwhore before school ends!




and then, out of nowhere, during the final assembly, i was awarded for this,
[that really got me into a surprise 'cause i didn't plan to have lots of informations]

there were other things given to me, but this one is my favourite.
why? 'cause it makes me looks like i'm punctual to time. lol.

[thank you Teacher Abiah!]

just two days before SPM, i went for some entertainment from Sungai Pamilaan to KK.
i was about to sit for a big exam and look just how stupid i was.


[one must camwhore.........]



[i won't let you take a picture without my freaking face!!]

[i really looked like i was about to kill someone]

on candids, i was not smiling.
it's not because i was mad or anything, but it's because it is my NATURAL face!
where i'm not feeling anything negative, just thinking.

[got to appreciate my long hair. for the 5th time, i decided not to cut it!]


[mom's capturing all these pictures]

soon, four cute puppies were born.
two were shy and two were friendly.

as soon as i called, "Puppppppiiiiihhhhhiiiieeeessss!!" and pretended that i have treats in my hand, they were all rushing towards me but couldn't go through the gate hihihi.
you got tricked!

[the small one was scared of people and i blamed it on my lil bro!]

[i love them all but i can't help but to give all my attention to this little attention seeker ♥ ]

[the cutie pie on the left was like saying, "But where's our treats that you promised?"]

[still waiting, huh?]

[it's like the cutie pie on the right was protecting the cutie pie on the left!]

the other two puppies were very anti-social!
they will only seek me for foods.
they never wanted to play with me or sit like in the picture above!

anyway, anyhow, i still love all of them :D ♥

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Sunday, December 8, 2013
distance means so little when someone means so much.

the day that i've been waiting for months is supposed to be today.
:'(
if only i brought along my phone with me to the party.
or if only i didn't go to the party at all, you'd take the flight happily yesterday and arrived here.
i regret that a lot of money should be wasted like that.
i regret for the things that i did and also for the things that i didn't do.


i hate feeling regret.
why can't we just turn back the time?!
three months is hard enough.
now i have to go through another two freaking months?!

i probably think too much but as i think about it, these all are nothing.
everything is eventually gonna be fine.
good things come to those who wait [i've experienced it].



i have never whined like this before, but i just want to WHINE!
i tried not to whine, i tried not to talk about it, but what can i do if it crossed my mind for like every second?!
this sentence "If only I........." is stucked in my freaking BRAIN and i hate my cerebrum for this.

[a sentence that should be stucked in my brain]

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Thursday, December 5, 2013
the cycle of life that we can't go against.

HEY HEY HEY YOU YOU YOU!
I AM FREEEEEEE!

too bad, my dream didn't came true after all.
i am unable to scream at the tops of my lungs at the top of the hills.

i can't deny that my HAPPINESS right now over weigh the SADNESS of leaving school.
to be completely honest, i did not feel sad leaving school at all :D
let the memories stay there.



i am throwing papers all the way!
MUAHAHA.

sure, those haters will say things like, "Baru SPM suda mau cakap FREEDOM. Belum lagi tingu result".
and then i was like, "Who cares? You're not the one who'll get my result so shut the hell up".

i don't feel excited for tomorrow anymore.
i just feel nervous like i don't want to sleep, yet i don't want to wake up.

tonight, i'm just gonna play games, watch some movies, and read mangas.
i can't sleep well!
butterflies in my tummy.

so everyone's talking about how they will not meet their high school friends anymore.
sure, they will meet each other during taking SPM results.
after that, everyone will go and move on to their new path of life.
we all have our different tracks and i do feel sad when 10 years from now on, some of us will get married and have children.
when we accidentally meet while holding babies, we will reminisce our high school memories; the good and the bad.
but at that time, we all have moved on and have started a new life filled with responsibility.
soon, our children will be the one who will experience the same thing.
this is the cycle of life that we can't go against.

despite all of those mumbles, i am still young.
too young to be sad about that and too young to think about that.

so yeah, for now let's enjoy life temporarily before going through hardships.
i deserve this freedom :D

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Tuesday, December 3, 2013
i will not miss waking up early.

my last [FINALLY] paper is on Thursday and i've been away from blogging for a while [kind of].
it's because i've been up to something!
and that something is something that i will not talk about right now.

i'm gonna struggle for the last time for this freaking EST!!
[as if]

sure, i will miss all my teachers who have taught me for two freaking years.
however, i am sure that i will not miss this year of struggling, where i woke up at 5.25AM to go to school and woke up at 4.00AM whenever there's an examination.

i saw some pictures that have my freaking face on Facebook uploaded by SFX Photography Club.
so here they are, my boring pictures.

[me receiving award for EST and English. only!!]

[with le classmates]

[cover their faces! they shall not have faces on this picture!]



[geng purple]

[my face was covered! my plan was ruined!]

i can't understand how people can be emotional and cry whenever they're about to leave high school.
i mean, it's not like we're not gonna see the teachers anymore, right?
you can just go to the school and meet the teachers loh.
other than that, you can also ask for their FB Acc or WeChat or etc.
apa guna zaman canggih.

hence, i tried to be sad but i can't because i can't hide the fact that i am HAPPY leaving high freaking school!
MUAHAHAHA.
i'm walking away from the cage, biatches.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-