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Friday, December 19, 2014
shit happens to me all the time

"A person can love you but still cheat, just like we love God but still sin"

that quote is very awakening for me.
i feel so small right now.
i want to shrink, and just disappear.

the very thought of being cheated again, it sucks.
a lot.

you can't imagine the feeling of being cheated by two same people at different time, over and over and over again.
even though it happened months ago, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt at all right now.
because i just found out that you lied.

freaking bastards always lie.
im out of here

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Wednesday, December 10, 2014
WHAT IF it is not about ME but YOU?

you know what, tonight i get to think that WHAT IF it is not about ME but it is about people who are selfish enough to LIE just because it makes them feel secure from their mistakes?

WHAT IF i am not the paranoid or the insecure one but instead, they are the one who screwed up big time?

this time, i am gonna say NO to trust.
i am not gonna allow myself to even think of believing people anymore.

people suck and they just take you for granted.
i am gonna stay away from them.

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-

Monday, December 8, 2014
Emo notes

Sometimes I blame that previous bastard who left a big wound and is responsible for my trust issues that I am struggling with right now.
I was naive and I let myself forgive someone who didn't deserve even my forgiveness for more than ten times.
In the end, I can trust no one, including all the people around me, especially this one precious person.

I want to tell him why I can't trust him and why I easily give up while he hold on really strong.
I just want to say that I feel insecure because of the past. Because I have been cheated on over and over again and the incidents were very recent.
I want to say that I can't afford sacrificing my feelings again.
I can't afford to have another black and white world.

Sometimes I feel like I am a freak for feeling jealous 24/7.
Most of the time, even the smallest thing causes us to fight because I feel something is fishy and I feel like you're cheating too.
But I guess maybe it is just my trust issues and I should stop over thinking.
I should start learn trusting people once again. [maybe]
Maybe I should consider believing that true feelings do exist.

Most of the time, I was about to give up up and yet you still want to hold on to me.
Look at us now, it has been seven months.
I don't understand how did you cope up with my insecurities for months.

Please stay, is what I wanted to say but right now you're asleep because you're tired working from 8am to 10pm, so yeah.

Ok too emo. Bye

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-