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Thursday, January 22, 2015
nothing interesting, just an update.

i'm on my one week holiday and it has been a few days already.
i have done absolutely nothing although i told myself that i was gonna jump into a pool, jog, have a healthy lifestyle and bla bla bla.
nah, it ain't happening.

nothing interesting to update.
just that i've started to work out [even bought a yoga mat and sports bra], and my collarbone is showing.
plus, my boobs are getting smaller too because i've been losing too many fats.
i looked like an anorexic. and the fats on my cheeks are still here!
it was the worst thing i could ever imagined. but it happened.
apparently, now i have a pair of small boobs.

hence, i continue eating and stopped working out for three days.
if being skinny means having small boobs, i ain't gonna continue doing that.
i want my normal boobs back!!
i need a pair of big boobs.

i want big boobs but small waist.
it aint possible for me. hmm, sad. better go back lay down watching tv and eat some carbs.
kbye

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-



Monday, January 5, 2015
sum up of 2014.

it is funny how January 2014 feels just like yesterday.
i can not believe myself that it is January 2015 already!

all the good things and the bad things that happened in 2014 have been left behind.
now is a new beginning.

i know that actually calendar is just an imagination that humans create to form a systematic world.
what if today is not 2015 and yet you're already creating a new beginning?
you know what i mean?

i am meaning to say that, no matter what year it is, no matter what time it is, but if we really want to create a new beginning, we actually can do it anytime we want.
it doesn't matter that you only can [unless you want to] have a new beginning only on a new year.

i have left toxic people last year and i appreciate [really do] appreciate those who still stay this year.
i do not regret leaving that one toxic boy who have no penis behind.
i do not hold grudge, but i still blame him for damaging me, causing me to have the biggest trust issues in the world.
if i ever saw him on the street, im gonna put my middle finger in the air and walk away.
i really do hope you moved out from my neighbourhood since i do not want to breathe the same air as you do.

thanks a lot for putting me through all those pain, and act like you're victimized by me in front of everyone just because i have moved on from a toxic person like you.
Hello? i deserved much better. trust me, you suck.

anyway, anyhow, i do not plan to make this an angry post.
do you really think that what i stated above is the sum up of 2014?
well, you're completely wrong.

last year, i have left toxic people and in return, i have met various type of awesome people.
i found out that what i used to say ["There's got to be more to life than this"] is actually true.
there is more to life than grieving for a broken relationship.
trust in me when i say this.

when you feel like the world is completely black and white without him, trust me, it is worth leaving an unhealthy relationship that is gonna ruin you.
when you feel like you can't eat, can't truly laugh, you're not alone.
i've been there and it gets better.
it is the time when you need moral support from your close friends.
do not ever lock yourself in your room. go out there, have some fun and meet someone but do not get attached.
[i did that and it is too late to not get attached already]

the first time when i got here [UMS], i thought to myself, "Can I survive this? This mixed feelings? This homesick? This grieving of a brokenheart?".
those first times walking kilometres away by feet. 
sometimes i feel like i can't go on. i just want to go back home, back to my comfort zone.
however, soon i get used to it and things actually became better.


and here is me singing my throat out.


i've got lots to say but i also have classes to attend tomorrow morning and next week is our final exam for semester two!
i know right!
buhbye

0 dropped words~

-ghost whisperer can't be heard-